Black Hole/Mothership

13:33 -- Hi! (the usual start of text message ritual, no reply from moi)

17:54 -- The Governor want to see you...(referring to his post on the workout blog, still no reply from moi)

20:58 -- Are you ok? (Sorry, Babe, I misplaced my cellphone at home and didn't see your text messages until midnight.)

I am thinking there is some sort of a black hole at the apartment. I was sure that the cellphone is still at the house because unlike these past two days I woke up precisely when the Wake Up Alarm on my cellphone went off. Before leaving for work, I searched all around to no avail. I even sent a text message through the computer but apparently it arrived thirty minutes after I sent it. Throughout the workday, I actively checked my account on the provider. First to see if the phone didn't land on somebody else's and got abused. Second, to see if I missed any important phonecalls and how many text messages got in. All is well. When I got home at midnight, I heard the phone beeping somewhere in the living room. It turned out it sucessfully fell to my newest mothership by the "sofa" possibly when I hit the silence button. Bibi must get a kick out of this mothership/black hole subject. LoL.

Back Log: June 18-24

Let's see, too many things to recount. Caveat for the readers, the following rambles are mainly for self-notes. I should have been more persistent on picture taking. It just escaped me.

Texas Trip
What follows is my account on what happened on this trip after the hilarity that was on the last post. But before we began, I wanted to state that I forgot how 100 degrees weather feels like. Tank tops, shorts, skirts, and summer dresses, SPF 50, minimal to no make-up are fashion staples I anticipated for this trip. I am glad NY has a lot of cute things to borrow to maximize my inner fashionista wannabe. As for the trip, I did what I came for: Bibi's prelim, a friend's wedding, and visiting the siblings.

Bibi practiced the slides for his presentation a couple of times that Thursday night and then once in the morning. "There's a lot of shit going on in this slide," we were hoping he can preface the last of his four topics.

The day of the prelim, Bibi refused to dress up in a suit/jacket, and instead don on his nice dress pants and shirt. He still looked smart nevertheless, LOL. We walked to school around noon. I played a good caterer and media tech while Bibi preparing his paperwork and whatnot.

When he was fighting at the frontline, I spent some time to exchange news and weather with my friends in the department. I excused myself two hours later to think that he must be finished by then. The waiting can be described as parallel to husbands waiting outside for wives delivering their first baby. Bibi finally came out of the room looking a bit worried and relieved at the same time. A minute later, his advisor when out to call him in. He passed!

I am so proud of him having to deal with such a tough and respectable research subject. Biology used to be my forte, I am glad I have somebody who possesses a better understanding on living objects--and most importantly, has good ideas on how to manipulate them.

We celebrated the prelim at O'Bannon's and a dinner at nearby Mexican place. Speaking of viva la comida, I also made panada and pastel from scratch for everybody's snacks on two different days. They got NY's seal of approval. I didn't realize that using rolling pin to make something is a good abs exercise.

The following Saturday, we had a wedding to attend. We arrived at the ceremony thirty minute late due to a planning mishap, i.e., no map. Who doesn't know the way to Waco? Only Bibi and yours truly apparently. Good thing my friend wasn't pronounced a Mrs yet. I am sure Bibi realize the ulterior motive of dragging him to the wedding, that is an exposure to Catholic wedding mass. The reception following the ceremony was in the mixed style of Mexican fiesta (the Mariachi and the food, groom was of Mexican decent) and the usual wedding party activity (the open floor with DJ, the bouquet throwing). Everybody had fun.



On Sunday, Bibi, the siblings and I went to Texas Road House to satisfy everyone's crave for a good steak and for a little bonding time. Then I went to St. Mary's 7 PM mass. Later that night, Bibi and I went to Northgate for his Sunday night poker league.

All in all, it was a good and compact visiting week. I did manage, though, to throw a breakdown tantrum on Bibi two days before leaving CS. That morning, Bibi and I went to the Rec Center together. I went to St. Mary's afterward with mi amiga G to get some ideas of things I need to prepare for a Catholic nuptial. It was an overwhelming experience to realize that my timeline (for a December wedding *gasps* Bibi needs to propose first, no?) is ambitious and has already passed its expiration. I am putting my--I mean, our--plan all on God's hand. Maybe sometime next year is best for everyone. I can spend some time with Mom, we all can have a better planning, and not to mention, it will be more feasible on the financial side. I am hoping NY get a job here, I can't do this without my dearest sister.

I flew back to SCLA on Wednesday ready for the last three days of working that week. The next week was another shutdown week.

--to be continued

Texas Here I Come (Again)

Travel Notes, Day 1

I can never get a good night sleep before a trip to see Bibi (LOL, Bibi!). I watched TV and filled in New York magazine crosswords last night after a final packing and general grooming. Past midnight, I watched TLC including the new season of The Gosselins saga and one from the old seasons. TLC successfully markets their contrast. Total sleeping hours: about three. Total TV hours: hmm, about five hours.

I packed two bags: a backpack and a laptop/mothership bag. Good weight exercise as I had to walk about a mile to catch VTA and another mile traveling airport in-site. Food to clothes ratio roughly equals 1:3. I scavenged Trader Joe's for a little something for people back home.

I didn't remember any of the US airports I'd been before to offer a free wifi and was glad to find that DEN offers one. Airport past time triumphantly spent on Facebook, Bloglines, Flickrs and blogs. Plane rides, on the other hand, spent on manual sudoku, crosswords and the good old sleep! As we were flying west, I had to put down the window as I realize the higher altitude makes the UV damage more vicious. What do you call a plane equivalent of a driver's tan. LOL!

Interesting views as we landed in DEN. I doubt that it was The Broncos home stadium that I saw (no branding whatsoever). Also patches of green acres (not of trees) around the city that seems to serve no purpose. Better research more on this.

NY and I are going to find our way to County Line BBQ. I seem to can never eat enough meat in CA. So meat is the first thing I am looking for when I am in TX. It was Saltlick with Bibi and brother last trip.

I am boarding Austin flight in fifty minutes.

Updates from AUS:
Landed safely at 4:52 PM local time. Unfortunately my chaffeur/sister was kinda lost.

After much consulting with Bibi and Information guys and of course, NY, we all finally figured out where she was and the new route she could use to arrive at AUS to pick me up. Here's a diagram of the situation.



Poor girl. We need drinks, correction, she needs it more than me.

Anyway, there is a free wifi here at AUS. Although, it wasn't supposed to be free, I suppose. I am posting with it. KYH might be arriving in half hour or so.

Back Log: May 30th

As part of Memorial Day long weekend, I enjoyed the company of this adorable couple for a light hiking trip around the South Bay area.



A detour for a to-go of tummy filling Vietnamese rice platters and yummy durian creme puff treats to South San Jose's Vietnamtown (thank God for GPS) could almost christened this trip a Culinary Adventure instead.

We were supposed to see chain of seven waterfalls on Uvas Canyon Park in Morgan Hill. But we were keeping our hopes low since foliages and waterholes at ground elevation were dry. Up a 1000 ft later (we drove ourselves up), a lush of evergreen suddenly greeted us.



If you are thinking of a great wonder of a waterfall that is Niagara, this Upper Falls is of course a no match. As you can see, the fall's height only reaches 25 ft and the width was about 15 ft. Still, the serenity of the walking and the giggles of babies playing in the water flush away the hectic world not much far from this heaven.




These last two pictures only satisfied the narcissus in me. Also in succesfully keeping the envy of a DSLR alive.




Photo credit

Back Log: May 31st

The grad school advisor:
"So, can you speak Chinese now? You have missed on the opportunity while you were in grad school. Don't miss out on it now that you have many Chinese colleagues at work."

Me:
"Uhm..."[damn it, what should I say, why do I need to learn Chinese anyway, you foo'...]

GSA:
"Or maybe you should find a Chinese husband. So you can learn and speak Chinese all the time!"

Me:
*fainted* [BF would definitely not appreciate that patronizing comment, but you know, BF, he's The K**].

A blurry picture from around the moment the above conversation happened. The GSA was visiting for a conference. We (former students) went out to eat with him at a Korean Chinese restaurant at Japan Town. How sick was that such place exist? LOL. Food were good, though. This picture, however, was by a coffee shop still in Japan Town where we were for an after-dinner coffee session, his treat!



PS:
I have always thought that this will be a nice starter bling, or better yet this. I am tired of being cameraless. The 1S has met its unfortunate fate sometime last year. Alas, all semblance of personal economic welfare these days needs to be channeled for more important causes.

Sigh

When I was young(er), there was an intention to pursue a career in medicine. And then I got that full-ride scholarship to study anything I want here in the States. The unpaved path to become a medical doctor got slashed out for being not too practical (time-wise and financial-wise). I regret the decision sometimes that I could have done something for my father and his sickness. Maybe he would listen to me, maybe he would have been alive. And to think that I ended up spending a lot of time in school for my field of choice to get to where I am now. The road not taken has made all the difference.

What is left of that interest is the occasional hypochondriac, self-diagnosed persona. Like today, I feel some pain on my left leg around the side close to the knee joint. I immediately consulted several webpages for Deep Vein Thrombosis. I checked on my health insurance coverage just in case I need some hospitalization. I am going to monitor until tomorrow if my pain subsides. I am thinking it might be the result of over working out from last week.

Good night.

Back to work

I just want to take a deep breath into an imaginary online paper bag. I have been reciting this too many times, "My timeline is not God's timeline". Although, I have bought a magazine last weekend--something I have been avoiding so as to minimizing the creation of yet another monster.

I also have been looking at possible dates for EE--a weekend in Houston, right on August shutdown, cheaper than CA ones.

What a girl to do. And to think all of these are hard on him too? Sigh.

PS:
BF, if you ever get around to read this blog, I still need my bling stat. Something like this will be really appreciated by me, who loves you so much. LOL!



A vintage (looking) sapphire ring in white gold.

I...You,

Baby

Fine Saturday

Life sans laptop is just unbearable, specially when there is need to catch up on gossip time with a certain someone, winks. As a temporal solution, I needed to fire up that old desktop unit. Little did I realize that it lived on the dark age technology that are eight years behind and had no recent anti-virus updates.

On Saturday morning, I opened the tower only to find a total of 256 Mb at 266Mhz RAM, at least they are already the 168 pin type. No wonder it was slow. Lo and behold, there were two RAM sticks magically lying around. The use of these two sticks would effectively double the memory storage and almost double the speed. First attempt on installation failed. Soft pounding here and there solved the problem.

Next was the anti-virus installation. Luckily, my fantastic cable/internet provider provides anti-virus software at no extra charge. I adventurously chose customized setting. It would've been easy if I optioned in on all but the parental lock option. In the end, I had to download the .exe for a total of three time to have both firewall and the anti-virus properly set up.

The blazing weather outside reached the mid 90s as I spent the productive afternoon hours working on fixing up the old computer. Going swimming seemed to be a good idea. Plus, I have always wanted to devirginize that apartment swimming pool, so to speak. I mixed a little concoction for a little after swimming treat--notice the word after, I am a safety oriented person. It consisted of mainly grapefruit juice, some rum, and sugar. BF would have been proud. I swam a total of 16 x 25 m laps (free-style and breaststroke). Those were some challenging manuevers I performed to survive, among others, babies learning to swim and 15 year olds having fun in the pool. I dipped myself on the bubbly hot tub for a while after and parked myself on a poolchair with my drink. A good book would have made the day even better.

Recent Update

Being laptop deprived since Friday has resulted in nights and weekend sans internet. The situation can easily be relieved if yours truly got her ass sitting in front of the desktop unit. She has been just too lazy to do that. Instead she's been focusing her mind on watching endless TV. She would be really happy to catch reruns of any of Star Trek series, but sadly, none of them were on during her waking hour. Instead, she settles on reruns of 3rd Rock from the Sun. Apart from being one heck of a funny series, the celestial body animation in between its scenes kinda reminded her of said series.

In other news, Aunt Flo decided to drop by last night. At four in the morning yours truly woke up with such a pain. Chocolate (and aspirin) has been proven to be a perfect remedy for time like this. She heated up the non-stick pan and made a grilled meisjes sandwich. Apart from the hint of chily oil taste, it worked wonder. Note to herself: get a sandwich toastmaker or dedicate a pan to make dessert like items.

In yet another news, "The One Who Got Away" is getting married. She feels nothing but pure happiness for him and the bride. Congratulations.

Meow

Me and two other girlfriends were going to lunch at an ordinary workday. I came first to the restaurant, there was a pregnant woman with a year old toddler on the sitting next table. The little girl was cute and has a mixed race appearance.

The first of the two friends came, saw me and walked towards my table. Before we had time to catch up, the woman on next table talked to my friend. They knew each other-- although, my friend had a hard time remembering her, my friend later told me. My second friend came in as the woman and the child were about to leave.

My two friends went on a discussion about the woman as soon as the entourage left.

"She used to be so pretty and stylish, remember? She wore all the branded stuff from head to toe."

"I know. I wasn't even paying attention to her at first. She looks so...mumsy. So
that's how people are after they're having a child, huh."

"She should be taking better care of herself."

At this point, I was jumping in to defend the woman. I see nothing wrong with her appearance. She was wearing stylish white capri pants and a gray top. She wore no make up, and her hair is better than mine. She probably gained some weight and her body changed. But aren't those expected for a mother of two? As for the child, she looked clean, healthy, and happy.

"Hey, it's a hard work to be a mother with a toddler and one on the way. I think she's doing just fine."

My friend insisted, "No, she could've done better. She should make time for herself."

Later I found out there were personal problems between my friend's relatives and the woman. So it might explain the harsh judgment on the woman. In retrospect, I might have done the same thing. But as an outsider looking in, trust me, the woman is doing OK, my standard anyway.

What A Life

There are clothes to press, an apartment to clean, food to cook,people to socialize with, instead I am currently sipping wines (cabernet and dessert), eating a mini chocolate bundt cake, browsing the 'net from A-to-Z, with TV on in the background, while lying down. What a life!

April Shutdown

Donna, the Atlanta BFF, came to visit for a Leonard Cohen concert last week. We had a lot of fun driving around to places (SF, Sausalito, Monterey, Oakland). I had been driving to all three bridges on the open bay (Richmond, Golden Gate, Bay). Unlike March shutdown time (Inok's visit), pictures from disposable cameras commemorated the days.

"Serious" Conversation

While he was driving me to Austin to catch a flight back to the Valley last night...

X: I am so past a waiting for a wedding. Other than the ceremony, the reception is sort of like, "Here people, eat our wedding cake with us now that we legally and morally can have sex with each other." You know, an announcement where you feed people.

BF: *rolling his eyes, shocked*

X: So, the objective has been moved forward. When are we going to buy a house?

BF: Ah, if the wedding is for everyone, a house is just for us.

X: Exactly.

BF: You and I really think alike. I want to have a house too.

X: Yup. So I have been calculating. You and I have to save at least [insert lot of money] if we to afford a CA house. Bonuses, stock options.

BF: Yes, a good job and we have to live in austerity then. Maybe we get a fixer upper and fix it ourselves, wouldn't it be fun?

X: Ooh, I love fixing stuff ourselves. I love buying tools. I watched enough of This Old House. LOL.

So Close to Home

There are three events today that made the day bound to be remembered than most days these days. Two of them hit, literally, so close to home.

1. Earthquake, a 4.3 Richter scale, with epicenter within 20 mile radius of my place of work and residence, at 10:40 AM. From what I've gathered from news, no major impact on the daily life of the South-Bayers. People at work including myself didn't experience any jolt whatsoever. The quake possibly was pale in comparison to the busy, noisy lab activities. Mainly, I suspected the building owner has practiced good architecture on designing an earthquake resistant structure.
2. An apparent murder-suicide that left six people dead (four were children) and one critically injured. It was within one mile from my apartment complex and happened on Sunday night around 8:30. Guns were found in the crime scene. Victim identities slowly revealed. Motive was still in the air. Place of incident, though, is widely publicized. I went on my own tour of the area tonight, although at the end I decided I couldn't take the view of it and drove the other way around. God rest your souls...
3. I asked boss for a swing shift instead of a normal day shift, he granted my request. My sole reason is that it will be more effective for me to work at this allocated window as machines are less occupied then. The lab is my oyster, or as BF texted me a reply:

   Your plan to dominate the world inches forward...

   Uhm, more like mils forward, BF.
   

Sick Again?

Tada...would you believe that yours truly is sick again. This time, whateveritis is riding on a fast track. By the second day, I have a runny nose, by the third day (today) I was in multiple coughing fits. I popped the only over-the-counter medication I had on my medicine cabinet just before the weekly meeting with the group. I anticipated its "comparable to a Nyquil" effect by preparing myself a cup of hot Orange Pekoe tea--a black tea variant I just discovered recently. The tea somehow worked to counter act the drowsiness lest I would have passed out not twenty minutes into the meeting. Instead, I was just experiencing a marked sleepiness lullabied by people "discussing" important-but-less-interesting business and technical matters at hand. LoLs. The effect worn out after two hours, though.

On to the next sickness. ETS, extrapolated time of sickness, is 40 days from today.

DSLR does make a difference

My profile pictures taken at the recent visit of a certain Ms. Inok of LA. She has a kickass "entry-level" professional DSLR camera. From now on, I'll just make it a requirement for every visitor to bring his/her DSLR camera along in order to be eligible to stay at my place. LOL.

On and about UC Berkeley...








At about 1000 ft elevation at Mt. Diablo State Park...


At about 2000 ft elevation at Mt. Diablo State Park...







At the summit of Mt. Diablo...




On a Bay Cruise off Pier 39...




On an about The Golden Gate Bridge...



On and about Santa Cruz's Natural Bridge State Park

BB (not Blackberry)

10:19 AM, CST (8:18 AM, PST)

Good morning Apple Fritter!*

11:30 AM, CST (9:30 AM, PST)

Sh..somebody is on a shutdown week and might sleep till noon. LOL. How is experiment going?

3:28 PM, CST (1:28 PM, PST)

I didnt know that Jim Rome is such a hottie. His wife must be a goddess of some sort. They have two sons! LOL.**

3:40 PM, CST (1:40 PM, PST)

Some people are like working.......

3:41 PM, CST (1:41 PM, PST)

LOL!

*His choice of dessert to call moi today
**Inside joke, hard to explain in here

Music on My Mind

Human brain is amazing. Should I shout this out loud? When the body has been deprived of something, it will signal the brain to relieve the situation, hence, we experience crave. Some common examples, for instance, are that when you are thirsty, you want to drink something, when you are tired, you want to rest, and so the list goes. It didn't hit me until late that craving goes behind the physical need but also happens on a mental state.

I have been listening to AM radios while driving, most notably the ESPN radio, the NPR, and the recently discovered Catholic radio station, AM 1260. While at home I watch TV programs, on the internet I browse over typed materials, on the elliptical I catch up on books. That is to say, my exposure to the pleasure of listening to the mellifluous harmony that is music has been unintentionally kept to a minimum.

I have come to notice that these past two or three days my brain has become its own music player. Songs were shuffled in my mind on random moments. The songs were from different genres, ranging from Taizé to The Smashing Pumpkins, and were never repeated. I can hear them played in my mind almost as complex as the original recording. All was beyond the control of my conscious mind.

To tie it back to my original premise, I conclude that I had been severely deprived from music solely on its own, my brain in turn is trying to relieve it by serving music à la carte.

I just find it all enlightening. It is perhaps also interesting to experience similar enlightenment on the other end of the exposure, that is, when the body is overwhelmed with a certain sensual pleasure.

Write That

I've been recruited to be in charge of a tri-monthly newsletter for a certain organization. I gave them an on-the-spot enthusiastic positive respond. Reasons behind such respond were that 1) I enjoy being involved in the organization, 2) I believe in the cause, and 3) the most important of them all that I just think it is about time for a bit of serious writing than the usual chronicle (of the banality) of my life type, don't you agree?

Another writing aspiration is something on my field of work, preferably on the professional but casual, for-the-masses, non peer-reviewed one. I really need to find a way to channel that. Maybe by starting on building enough credential, learning more about the industry, getting educated deeper on wider subjects? Oh, the possibility.

On another note, being a true hypochondriac, I am going down with an early form of dementia. Case in point: I forgot the names of several co-workers today. I tried real hard and was only able to recall them after a long while. Another case in point was the increasing severity of that self-diagnosed attention deficit disorder. So help me God.

State of Me

I am dead sleepy but I just couldn't turn off my brain...
I am still full from the vegetarian take out (it's almost two weeks since I've been abstaining from meat and poultry but I don't think I can be a vegetarian forever), but I am craving for something sweet or chocolate...
I can't wait for tomorrow so I can go to thrift stores around the area to satisfy an going desire to decorate around the apartment...
I miss Boyfriend so much, I cried...

I love that we can talk about nothing and everything
I love that you do listen to the trivial things I said, when I thought you don't
I love how we understand each other in a non-verbal way
I love that we can always find our way home when we are lost
I love that I feel safe when I am with you
I love that you brag about me to your friends and family
I love your giving me thoughtful gifts when I don't expect it
I love that you are there for my highs and lows
I love the silent moments when I can just reach you and hold your hand as long as I want
Most importantly, I have seen the best and worst of you, and I still love you for who you are

Would You?

One of the text message banters through out the days...

What's up boyfriend. I cant believe the deals at Z*les online. Crazy girl is screen shopping next to me...

What, my hand started to twitch...

And just two nights ago I had a dream I am wearing our wedding band. I woke up looking at my left ring finger. There was nothing there. LOL. I want to scream on top of my lung, "Would you just propose already????"

Job

I woke up fresh this morning--despite getting awaken multiple times during the night--with today's work plan on my mind. On my plan, I would finish quite a lot of the essential parts of a certain device fabrication by the end of work day. If I were The Brain, this was going to be the magnum opus for a worldly domination.

I hastily got ready, picked out some ensemble in red from the closet, which includes a red faux-leather belt worn high waisted on top of a black cardigan, but I digress. I was graceful that the car battery of unknown remaining lifetime still works in the chilly northern California morning. That and the light traffic were instrumental in bringing me to arrive at work a minute to the hour of nine. "Aha, the machines are going to be all mine," a little smirk lighted up my face.

Alas, just like my rodentia alter ego, things started going down on the very first step of the plethora of procedures I have to follow. I successfully accomplished nothing but irk by lunch time. What annoyed me most was how egoistic people are on the race to finish up tasks at hand. Little did I realize that those people include yours truly. And yet I couldn't help to nurture a sexist sentimental feeling of a little girl faces the still macho world of this industry all by herself.

My frustration grew exponentially as obstacles recurred on every single step. There I was the Job of Silicon Valley. Unlike the biblical figure, I continued to grumble (and beyond). But somehow the light at the end of the tunnel got brighter as the night progressed. I calmed down and I was back full course on my mission. After spending twelve hours and thirty minutes mostly standing on my feet, I drove back home finally attaining my goal for the day. I am hoping tomorrow is a more pleasant work day and that the device works as is, but mostly I am hoping I could be more calm and collected in cruising through tough situations at work or otherwise.

How was your work/study day?

BBC Booklist Meme

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an ‘X’ after those you have read.
2) Add a ‘+’ to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.

1 The Lord of The Rings - JRR Tolkien
2 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen - X+
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling - X+
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee - X+
6 The Bible - X+
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell - X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens - X
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller - X
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien -
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - X++
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald - X+
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy *
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky *
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll - X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens - X
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden - X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery - I watched the series, does it count? LOL
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck *
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov *
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold - X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas X++
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville *
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett - X+
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce *
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray *
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker - X
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro *
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - X+
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams -
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas *
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo - X

Total read:19
Total plan to read: 9

On Being Sick

I am currently having under the weather days. It was just in December that I got into a three week spread of coughing that lasted well into the second week of January. Expectorant seemed to be futile and worst of all I stayed wide awake during those miserable nights. I didn't see the doctor, but maybe the verdict would be that the biotic kingdom taking over my body's defensive system.

This time, it might be virus. "Babe, I feel like crap, I have a fever of 101.5, I am aching all over, and the sangria only makes it worse," I texted the BF. He went, "Oh, it's the flu, Babe," and he proceeded to comment on a bunch of Crasians throwing a fellow into the pool on some birthday bash outside his apartment. Bener-bener nggak nyambung...Anyway, the alternating cold and warm sensation of the fever can only be compared to a contraction, five minutes apart and lasted one minute.

I am treating this sickness with a different set of mind. It's a chance to break rules on healthy eating, Baby! I went to get Cheetos, chocolates, and sodas. Needless to say, lost appetite got me. The only healthy meals I had consisted of soups and make shift lemonade from lemons a coworker just gave me this morning. There is also the inevitable excuse to not exercising.

My prognosis is that I will be back to my usual self in two days, just enough for the weekend, and not to forget the shutdown at work next week.

High Sea

Blog, once again, you have been left in the dark. It's 2009 for Pete's sake.

I am blaming it all on my poor planning of my weekdays schedule:

Work pertaining 8 AM-8 PM
Dinner and rest 8-9:30 PM
Work out 9:30-10:30 PM
TV and other stuff 11-1 AM

I suppose I could squeeze in writings on those "unproductive" couch potatoing between 11 and 1 AM. And not to forget the time on the weekends.

I shall begin soon, then. To the high sea!

PF

I came home today from work and some grocery shopping. I called the BF as I put stuff away. It's his birthday today and our two best friends were throwing him a birthday dinner. In the middle of the call Mom was calling me on the other line. I promised to call the BF again later. Mom and I talked as I heat up my dinner.

We couldn't help but discussing the family's financial situation these days. Things are pretty tight since Dad passed away. And now that I am working, there is not much changing in term of my contribution to our family. See, in numbers, my income is considerably high, but after factoring in CA living cost, car payment, and that single person income tax bracket, there is really not much left to save. A little over broke, that's what they called it.

Right now, my financial objective is to acquire enough saving that will cover three months of living expense. And what I experience now is that even that small objective is already hard to attain. It definitely requires some kind of magic to be able to afford owning a place of my own in here while in the same time building some investment portfolio for the future, and don't forget a wedding, hopefully, sometime in the near future.

I continue the habit of budgeting and projecting how much I can save over a period of time with the help of a simple spreadsheet. I consulted the spreadsheet religiously. Something funny happened tonight as I was playing a little forensic
accountant to locate some essential amount of money allegedly missing from my bank accounts. Simply, I tried to balance the expenses and the income. I was in a panic attack thinking that I overspent in hindsight or that maybe somebody broke into my
accounts again. I discovered that it was a typo in one of the numbers that caused such a commotion. By the time I discovered it, my dinner was already cold again.

Money it's not everything one would say. I don't totally buy that. Who am I gonna turn into to support the family and myself once I lose my income? We are not talking lavish lifestyle, just enough to get by. I am not in need of having a fancy car and clothing or other luxury items. I just need some security that I have something liquid in possession to cover a reasonable life span.

Great, it's the weekend, I can afford some insomniac moments thinking about the economy and my personal finance. I am just hoping I am walking towards the light. I am also glad that the BF has a similar financial attitude as myself. In this case,
I'd say a team of two is better than flying solo.

Happy Birthday again, Babe. I was thinking to dedicate a piece here for you today before this money thing took over. After all, you are one of the most important people in my life these day. I hope the card and the CD arrived Monday, a little late, three days after your actual birthday.

And whenever I am missing you so much, I just have to relive the momentous occasions such as our first activity together two days after your birthday last year.

"It wasn't a date", I insisted months after.
"Hey, come on, what guy would wanna go watching a play with a girl she is not even a friend first? Totally, a date," you said.

A date or not, it is one of my favorite things to daydream about us. You do make me happy.

Homily and OLOP

Another thing I miss about College Station, the other being working out at the Rec Center, is attending mass St. Mary's. I haven't felt at home in the many Catholic churches I have been to here and around town. One in particular is the popular OLOP. The feeling that I am merely a visitor as opposed to a parishioner has nothing to do with the two incidents there in which a man unsolicited giving me a pamphlet on dressing Marianly, one in the middle of Mass, one at the parking lot after. It is more about the homily.

To me the homily is one the most anticipated parts of Mass. All these times I haven't been able to get the gist of the homilies on the Masses offered at OLOP with different priest at different times. I'd say this is largely due to the state of the sound system which acoustic is probably affected, to my guess, by the structure of the church building itself. Second, it might be due to do with the way the sermon is presented. Back in St. Mary's, sermons were presented in a way that they were easy to comprehend that they almost certain touched bases every time. Although, at the OLOP cases, I couldn't really certain if each and every sermons were 'too heavy' as I couldn't hear it clearly every time.

This next time, I will try to sit closer to the altar and gather up an extra focus more during the sermon. All those yoga practices should be useful then.

Shutdown Rambles

So, inline with the last post, the company exercised the first of the shutdowns in Q1 2009 effective this Monday. This means yours truly have nine days of Thanksgiving break, except that she couldn't afford to change her plane ticket to go back to dear ol' CS from the original day of Thanksgiving to this weekeend. What a girl to do to cover the five days in between? Well, having fun in her own way, off course.

1. Sleeping in. She forgot how much she loves sleep. She got pretty good at brushing up her old skill as she woke up a minute past noon today.

2. Shopping. She has a couple of shopping list to do since discovering Trader Joe's and Ranch 99 (oh and don't forget the many Goodwill around towns). She's also in search for a good book for the BF's nephew that she adores so much. The boy is cute and well too smart for his seven years of age.

3. Watching free movies on demand. She discovered this Comcast feature a while ago and has been using it effectively almost every weekend. Last night only, she managed to watch two of the agent Double O Seven's in HD, one with Mr. Connery and one with Mr. Moore. Delicious.

4. Exercising. Two times a day, in the morning for the usual aerobics and weight exercises, and at 6:30 PM with the free class at the apartment's work out center.

5. Cleaning up and organizing. The apartment and her work notebook. Where is that damn data cable, anyway. She needs to transfer the pictures from the cellphones in a more affordable way.

What she's not doing:

1. Cooking "elaborate" meals. She just need to use up the stuff in the fridge anyway.

2. Going to a birthday party at some club. First, she didn't feel like dressing up, and there is a dress code in which she doesn't have a thing handy to dress with. Second, she's not sure if the birthday girl is the girl she knows, name confusion that is. She could've picked up the phone and called someone but, third, hmm, she had her share of fun Friday with the free ticket to an MMA event. It was on the corporate suite with free beers, pizza, wings, some cookies. More on this and the "after party" after.

What she's dreaming of:
1. She could afford a camera. A DSLR one, not another Point and Shoot. Maybe next year when the financial situation is a little bit better?

2. This is craziness talking. But yeah, she wanted to be in a nuptial relationship with the BF sometime in the future--and by the future, she means by the end of next year. Again, can she/they afford it? And by afford, she means mentally, logistically and financially.

See, she's still the economical (read: penny-pinching) homebody (read: anti-social) girl she's always been. And so the end of the ramblings.

Bowing Head

Job security is everyone's mind, including yours truly. We can smell it, it's right in front of us. What with the continuously plunging single digit stock, the shut-downs, and the downsizing, all in line with the plan to save those many million dollars in the company's operating cost. So help us, God.

Weekend

It's been a while since I've been involved in any type of volunteering work. The last time was visiting a retirement community back in good ol' CS. This Saturday, I went with a group of church friends to Oakland to work at a kitchen for the needy. We served gumbo with wild rice with a side of salad and bread, and donut or cake for dessert. If nothing else, the experience made me realize that we sometime forgot how grateful we are to be blessed with the ability to provide for ourselves. I like this kind of volunteering and have been considering doing it more frequently, at least once a month.

Serving the gumbo made me crave for a homemade one for dinner. I then called the BF for ingredients list and recipe. He used to work for a seafood place in his hometown during his high school years and might know a thing or to about making a perfect gumbo. In the middle of my cooking preparation, the BF texted me that he too was craving for some. We ended up cooking gumbo at the same time but 1000 miles away. Through out the cooking, we updated each other's tribulation: the roux took too long, mine is not dark enough, etc. I finished first and was planning to wait until he's done with his so we can eat the gumbo at the same time but my hunger took over. When he's done with the cooking he called me and we talked for more than an hour. It was just the cutest date this LDR had so far.

This afternoon, I went to a Mass said in my native language in a Mission church 20 something miles away from my place. The Mass was a celebration of the founding of the bay area Indonesian Catholic community as well as for an early Thanksgiving celebration. There was some kind of a worship dance performed in the middle of Mass. I'm not too sure what my feeling was about the appropriateness of this kind of activity. But at least the dance, the costume and the music were moderate enough to tone the effect down. Another worship activity was presented some time after. This time was in the form of a ballet performance. Needless to say, that for sure should be put into another time and place.

All in all, this weekend has been effective. I am looking forward for Monday. I am wondering how many people can say that they are looking forward for Mondays.

New Beginning?

I thought I should start writing again. I think it is important to continue to chronicle my life now that I have moved to a new place, living on my own, started a new job, and trying to work out a long distance relationship (not just between the two of us but among the extended families). In short, this is still about the juggling of life but with new sets of problems. The ones associated with becoming a responsible adult. Who would have thought I will be experiencing all of these.

I got everything I have dreamed of in life: health, a degree(s), a job, a meaningful relationship. For those I am thankful. I thought those are all I had ever wanted and then I will finally be happy.

Truth is I find it hard to fall a sleep most nights. It has to do with aspirations such as that I want to do more with my life, I want to learn to be grateful, I want to move on to the next step on the relationship, I want to build a solid financial standing, I want to be happy, if not happier.

So I am throwing this to you guys out there. Is it too much to be wanting more? Or are we just... human?

Hair Saga, Still (Bored at Work)

To: bwn####@chemail.****.***
From:h******_n********@****.com
Subject: Hair Saga, Still (Bored at Work)

Wassap BF...

Adding to the ritual I have to make every morning, i.e., what stuff to wear to work, now I have to wash and flat iron the damn hair every single day. Shorter hair should make life simpler, I don't know how mine is such a trouble. I bring comb with me to work now and let's just say, I put a good use of any reflecting surface. Geez. And don't get me started on how it broke my heart. I cringed and shrieked a lot everytime the scissors got near my head. What can I say. I miss my long hair.

Anyway, I am closing this e-mail with a part of the lyrics of a song you compiled on my CD. I hope that it is still the case with you.

They say that time takes its toll on a body
Makes the young girls brown hair turn grey
But honey, I dont care, Im not in love with your hair
And if it all fell out well I'd love you anyway

Is it hormonal or is it real?

Sometimes I feel you never love me as much as I love you. Sigh.

Touchy Feely

Got a birthday card from the boyfriend in the mail on Friday. I'm amazed on how good card writers/designers are these days.

It says on the front part,

It's the simple times,
when we're talking about
anything or everything...
It's the times
we understand each other
even when no words
are spoken at all

and on the folded back part it says

It's the smiles, the laughs,
the warm hugs
and the sweet kisses,
or the joy
of just being together...

and finally on the inside page it says

These are the things
that really matter to me.
These are the special things
that remind me that life
is better in so many ways
because of you.

I'm so glad you're part of my life.


Happy Birthday.

You got me, Babe.

Hello, Anyone Here?

Hey, how's thing with the world? I am alive, and hopefully kicking, at the new place.

The boyfriend and I blogged our workout stuff here.

D-1

Per tradition.

So tomorrow is THE day. The culmination point of things I have done about 1/3 of my life so far. At this point, I am trying to keep the sanity intact while reading more background material.

Things I've done pertaining to the defense:

Placing order for a sandwich tray at HEB
Printing slide handouts and paperworks
Emailing committee a reminder to show up tomorrow
Working on last minute slide polishing
Sending defense announcement to the department

Things to do still:
Practice in full
Read more background
Buy little bit of veggies, fruits, desserts, drinks, and utensils (It is as 12 on the dot tomorrow afternoon)

I wish my father were still with us when this day came.

Wish me luck, dear friends, and pray for my poor soul.

Dearest Mr. Walker

If you're reading this, I'd like to welcome you to this pseudonistic little corner of mine, which unsurprisingly resides in the 'net where the whole world could see. *gasp*

Happy first lunaversarry (again).

'Cool word, at first, I thought, it referred to us being "looney".' You texted back last night.

A part of me had died from that response. But then I realized, we have never been into the yucky romantic stuff. So, all is well again. [Edited to add: You are an etymology wizard! I didn't realize 'looney' and 'luna' are indeed related. And you're correct, the word might as well describe us.]

As you might find out by now, I am better with songs and lyrics. You don't want to know what was my first choice to commemorate the occasion. Go ahead, click on the link....Yup, yeah, too "heavy". So, here is one from a favorite band of ours, what other than The Eagles. I'd say if nothing else the song is a tad more appropriate.

Sitting by a foggy window
Staring at the pouring rain
Falling down like lonely teardrops
Memories of love in vain
These cloudy days, make you wanna cry
It breaks your heart when someone leaves and you don’t know why

I can see that you’ve been hurting, baby I’ve been lonely too
I’ve been out here lost and searching, looking for a girl like you
Now I believe the sun is gonna shine
Don’t you be afraid to love again, put your hand in mine…

Baby, I would never make you cry
I would never make you blue
I would never let you down
I would never be untrue

I know a place where we can go where true love always stays
There’s no more stormy nights, no more cloudy days

I believe in second chances
I believe in angels, too
I believe in new romances
Baby, I believe in you
These cloudy days are coming to an end
And you don’t have to be afraid to fall in love again

Baby, I would never make you cry
I would never make you blue
I would never turn away
I would never be untrue
I know a place where we can go where true love always stays
There’s no more stormy nights, no more cloudy days

I know it's been only a shortwhile but I'm contempt content with you and your optimistic nature, your sense of humor, and your --uhm, on the second thought, I'm pleading the Fifth on that certain characteristics of yours. All in all, they balance your propensity for R-OH, your island time, and your liking on that one Sublime song. Hey, I gotta put something negative on the list, LOL. It's really not that bad for all the topsi-turvydom it has caused, I mean, one day all the planets in my life were in a grand alignment, then came you.

Lastly, I couldn't help but putting our names to our faces. Hope you don't mind.


oxox

me

State of Things

Ade's writing my bio...hihihi...I have a personal biographer!

Phone interview today with S*h*a*r*p L*a*b of A*m*e*r*i*c*a, they offered an on-site interview next week!

My goodness....deadline is approaching...dissertation (submit to committee members first week of April)...defense (April 23)...help...help....

The "Proposal"

The first of March, we were at our pub playing a weekly trivia quiz against other teams. Our team just consisted of the two of us. Sometime in the middle of the rounds, he stared at mid-air smiling.

"Why are you smiling? At nothing again?"

"I am content..."

"You are happy?"

"Yes...my girl asks me out, I'm playing trivia with her at my favorite pub, life is beautiful...Those are grounds for being happy, right?"

"Hmm...yeah, I guess...." I couldn't come up with any other response. He just called me "my girl" for Pete's sake. It sent a butterfly in my stomach. I smiled at him.

"What?" He asked

"Well...this is like that answer you put on that questionnaire I gave you.... 'Where do you wish you were right now' and your answer was 'This is a superfluous question.'"

"Ha ha...I like my answer. You'd better keep that questionnaire, because there might be no one else that will need to fill it."

"I do keep it. I keep everything..."

A couple hours later, I popped him what was on my mind....

"You're calling me a girlfriend?"

"Yes...aren't we? We were already like that since last weekend...So, yeah we are officially a bf/gf now. I mean we've been going out for months, I don't know what will happen in the future, I am happy with what we have now, I care about you, and I think you're a prospect."

I didn't even remember what my response to those bombardments. There are no cheesy I-love- you's, it is an understanding, I suppose.

I'm hoping he's the one.

The Things I Said

Over the performances from international students organizations yesterday, among others was the Mexican Students Association. Oh, the lively yell and oration. Viva...! Viva...!

Wow, it feels as if they are going to start a revolution! I am going to run for my life...

You are bad! LOL...Why don't start yelling yarriba! yarriba! and start shooting gun in the air...

LOL!

Next was the performance from Malaysia, specifically, a one-man show, the guy is from the Borneo part of the country.

You know, the native people in that island was still practicing head hunting until recently. Headhunters, right, that's what they call it.

Yeah..headhunters, you're so bad. First, Mexicans were going to start a revolution, now the Malaysians are headhunters!

LOL!

And then it was the Columbian's turn.

...and the Columbians are...drug dealers...(whispering on his ears)

I can't imagine these are all coming from you! Stereotyping....

LOL!

And finally, on the walk home...

So, what are Indonesians?

We are just plain crazy.

Not Wearing Black

Good morning (I'd like to start the post just like Rev. Run at the end of his Run's House show, he he he).

Happy Valentine to all of you!

Unlike the yesteryears of my far-from-baneful existence, I will have a dinner date tonight, on Valentine's Day! Am I excited? Yes. I usually give NY chocolate this time of year--I am not sure if she ever gave me any in return. So for sure it's a big leap from there.

One thing though, I don't know where this so-called relationship is going. My hunch is that we both are just trying to have fun and to be polite to each other so not to break it up. Come to thing of it, there's nothing to break anyway. Do I know him more? Not really...Does he know me more? Maybe...This is getting depressing. Is this what you called building a relationship?

On that note, have merry happy Valentine's!

and I Don't Even Know His Favorite Color

Oh! I forgot to ask you for going out on Thursday.

Thursday?

Yeah, it's Valentine!

Oh...ha...I forgot all about that. Yes, I would. But I have a meeting maybe till like 9. Do you mind if we go that late?

Yeah, no problem. I think [insert restaurant name] they open that late.
Are you going to be ready by 9?

I don't know....maybe it'll be done by 9, but I'm not sure.

OK, let's tentatively make that a plan.

Well if not, there's always IHOP or Denny's..ha ha...

*crickets chirp*

If you want we can also watch a play on Friday...it's the same play that we went to last time. I know the lead actress. She and her husband, we are kinda are in a soccer club.

That'll be fun. We should get her flowers or something...

OK, I'll see you..he kissed me softly

Goodnight..

Love is in the Air

don't you want to maximize waking hours?

i would if if i had something to do haha

you know...daydreaming about her

ha ha
i love her life....spirit
in my opinion...perfection

yup!
energetic

hahaha

like a photoelectron..she got excited and gives out luminous photon

shutup nerd
haha

LOL
this nerd gave you the Valentine idea

:D
yes you did

dah ah...molor dulu...daydreaming
haha

LOL

Long Update

Dissertation update:
I am about a week late on the schedule. I should've finished Chapter II this weekend which contains the bulk of experimental method and background theory behind the method. It just taking too long because I am sort of being idealist about stuff. I view writing this chapter (and the rest of the chapters for that matter) as a part of interviewing preparation more than anything else.

I can sort of copy/paste materials from my papers for the cream of the dissertation: Chapter III, IV, V, and maybe VI. Each chapter will have approximately two weeks editing time and any other necessary supported measurement or what not dedicated for it. I'll scoop in Chapter I, which is the Introduction, and Chapter VII which is the Conclusion somehow in the middle of this craziness. I am planning to give the finished product to the advisor by April 4th, and to the rest of the committee members by April 9. That leaves me two weeks for working on the slides and what not. Time really flies when you break it down like that.

Job searching update:
It still sucks. I haven't heard any interview opportunity for an industrial position, from my job hunting sources: school's career center, the internet, the department, etc. Until about Tuesday last week when an opportunity presented itself to me. It is for a post-doc at the next door department. I'm pretty heaved about it. Money is for sure not as lucrative as a spot in the industry, but future careers in academia or industry are sort of opened smoothly through it. We'll see, I am not even sure I got in, but apparently they kinda want me bad.

Some semblance of a romance update:
B' asked me to watch a movie with him. "What kind?" I said, I read him the list of the website. "Pick a good one for date movie," he said. I was pretty confused about this. "Are we dating now? Or is it the type of movie you want to watch?" I wish I had the courage to ask. LOL.

The day of the date, he called me in with an invitation to dinner at his friends' before the movie. During the dinner the friend said something to him that sounded similar to this. "I forgot that you are on a date tonight." "Now you make me look bad in front of her," he said. So, yeah, there was my confirmation. We really were on a date. I should've picked it from the way he dressed that night.

His friends, a pair of husband-wife, were really welcoming, nice, and imposing. They are about two-three years younger than me. The husband went I-hope-you'll-be-a-regular here several times, referring to me hanging out with them. The wife went it's-nice-to-finally-have-a-girl-to-talk-to. It seems they have higher faith in this relationship than me. Honestly, I don't even know what B' sees in me. We haven't really talked all that much, we haven't really cross-assessed (mentally or other-ly speaking) each other that much. He amazed me though, by remembering the detail of our first going out, even the shoes I wore. "They are pointy, they are green, like an elf shoes..." "You remember all that...I'm blushing now." "Don't be...they are cute." Shoes fetish alert? j/k.

We went to watch the movie. There were some sort of intimacy here and there, proper hand placements and all, which I didn't object to. We went to his apartment afterward, he made us Mudslides and we sat by the pool. A couple of people with Indian background came down carrying cakes and candles, apparently for a surprise birthday party. I asked B' when is his birthday. "The day I defended was my birthday. And we went to that play that Friday." "Oww...why you didn't tell me that?" "It was an early stage for us, I didn't want to bother you, besides I have the thesis to work on, I didn't prepare for anything." Early stage, huh. Hmm..he's been thinking about that night and about us since. I am scared now.

He walked me home after, hugged me goodnight, and said he had a good time. There were future plans to movies, to basketball games. So yeah, it's not too far fetched to say I'm kinda dating him. Exclusively or not, either way I have to figure out how to act on this (and also on the termination of J-gate, if there is ever a J-gate. It wouldn't be fair to him otherwise). I am so clueless every time and blaming it totally on being a "late bloomer". So help me God. In the moment of awkwardness during that hug, I kinda kissed him on the cheek. LOL. I feel I need a confession now.

The End

Let Me Bask on the Lime Light

Turned out he gave two more DVDs of his favorite movies. And today...


"Hey.." I finally found him in his office. He was working on his data. Instead of the DVDs like last time, he gave me two books, The Prince and James Cavell's translation of Sun Tzu.

"I don't know when I can give them back to you," I thought he was lending me the books.

"They are yours."

I blushed. "Oh...that's so sweet," and without any reservation, I hugged him sideways. He was sitting, I was standing, otherwise, the guy was just too tall to be hugged in a proper manner. He reciprocated to pull me even tighter.

Ah, the joy. I want need more of it.

Bridesmaidzillas

The day was supposed to be started with a quick drive through at a favorite snack place and then we would be on our merry way to H-town. What were we thinking. It was already pass 12 PM.

"Can I have five of the iced nuts and one of the cream filled, please."

"Mam, we don't have anymore of the iced nuts, in fact we barely have anything now. You're welcome to come inside to look."

"Okay then, I will have five of those, and a chocolate milk, and two waters, please."

"Dollar even."

"Are you sure?" I motioned to the milk, the donuts and the water. I should've wiped them clean.
.
.
.
Reason for the trip: bridesmaid dresses shopping. Our beautiful bride-to-be had carefully made appointments at two different bridal establishments, a big national chain over on Westheimer and an independent one in Chinatown. Either way, we were never far from the center of culinary heaven that is H-town.

Big national chain has advantage in the size and variety of selections, not so much on quality. The mom-and-pop offers better style. It's probably not too far fetched to say that these bridal businesses seem to cater to statistics (7.5 marriage : 3.8 divorce per 1000 population). A divorce-rate limited!

Needless to say, the three of us were this close from turning into bridesmaidzillas. Sometimes watching too much TLC is not good for your soul. The consensus was a halter neck for one (in the hope to alleviate a certain booby-ness situation), tube dress for the petite one, and a v-neck for another. Against all precarious notions, we settled on dresses with the exact same style, and the oohs and the ahhs commencing. Until somebody brought up the style of the reception which in the end resulted in a unanimous voted against the dress. This, of course, warrants for (hopefully) another shopping trip. LOL.

I am glad the bride-to-be has ordered hers.

The Train Has Left the Station

hey

yes
you know what J, I was just thinking

what u thinking girl

like the playa...we have the same interest on musics, books, sports, topics for discussion, etc...
even chocolate!
so I thought I found the guy version of me...a soul mate...

dont get ur hopes too high yet
the fall will be higher
and besides everybody always say that when u are starting to know each other, the puppy love

well yes..that exactly somehow my point
you don't need someone to have the same interests
it takes the mystery out of the relationship...the fun is actually less...the exploration is dull
no I dont have hopes on him..it is more like a spur of the moment...the joy of bumping into someone who can have the same interests as me...
is it weird thinking?

sorry was in wece
and talking to mom too

euyyhh...at the same time?

noooooooooooooooooooo of course
was cleaning something in restroom

hhi ok

u puppy in lov

hm...never met someone like before...that's just one in a million chance

everybody always say that

ok..I never said it before

oh well

yeah..oh well...
if it wasnt meant to be it wasnt meant to be
what do we know right

any kino from u?
ur fault

haha...
I'm just not used to it..

get used to it
or the train will leave
for good
or it might have left long time ago

dang!

turn and look behind u
do u see it?

dang double dang

its gone

and it was a bullet train too
no wonder I missed it
I'm accustomed to the coal powered one