Blot Blot Western Baby

While I was getting pulled in into a project with demanding work hours (this morning I got home at precisely 2:01 AM) and Hubbostrich is on a deadline for February 19 defense, our household has given up a few time vested luxuries such as meals from scratch and recreational activities. Before bed time TV watching is now reduced to numbness entertainment (well, hello, Aqua Teen Hunger Force) or dramatic money making ventures (American Pickers, Pawn Stars). Hence, updating this little blog is not a priority lately, although like Ms. Cecily Cardew character in Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest, I enjoy a life of deliberate contemplation poured in a written format, time permitted.

On my occasional free time at nights and weekends, Hubbostrich makes used of my playing editor skill to work on his dissertation. Did I tell you I enjoy being an editor? In fact, that's what I want to be when I grow up.

"Babe, you always forgot to put a period at the ends of your sentences!"

"Well, you sometimes can't see them in Times New Roman."

Such a ridiculous excuse. An Arial will work better, he claims. But wait, there are more of ridiculous situations coming my way. For instance, when Hubbostrich says he is done with a chapter of the dissertation, it means there are 50 unknown references need to be gathered around and 10 figures to format. Who is responsible for this? Yes, such a sweet life of an editor.

I still make sure to use my higher up in the food chain position to point out things to be corrected in his dissertation.

"I'm telling you this is not a good abstract, you have to be dramatic. Think headlines. Short and to the point, snip-snip!"

"F- the Thesis Office and their 350-word abstract," is all he can say in frustration.

Ah! A couple more hard work days and we will submit a draft to his advisor.

Bonus point:

Hubbostrich has been claiming this as the official soundtrack of his dissertation writing. He can totally relate.

A Conference Opp

One Friday morning, the phone rang. A familiar but forgotten number showed up on the screen followed by a disfigured hello from the other side. Suddenly, my brain cells fired up. It was the advisor.

He brought an unusual inquiry granting I am not his student anymore. This could be a fodder for the PhD comics guy.

"Could you present this material for me? I couldn't be there for the conference. You are familiar with it and only a distance away. The slides are all set, the paper is done."

The registration fee for the meeting is pretty steep, so I carefully crafted an email to my manager. It didn't hurt to ask. The Advisor needs help. I want to attend this meeting and be among academia one more time. The company might get some beneficial return in the future. Everybody wins.

My manager is such a visionary angel. So, yes, I am going to be in San Francisco come April 8th. It is the first presentation of the session that morning. Wish me luck. I am slowly forgetting how it feels to present among this lot of people.

Back Log: May 31st

The grad school advisor:
"So, can you speak Chinese now? You have missed on the opportunity while you were in grad school. Don't miss out on it now that you have many Chinese colleagues at work."

Me:
"Uhm..."[damn it, what should I say, why do I need to learn Chinese anyway, you foo'...]

GSA:
"Or maybe you should find a Chinese husband. So you can learn and speak Chinese all the time!"

Me:
*fainted* [BF would definitely not appreciate that patronizing comment, but you know, BF, he's The K**].

A blurry picture from around the moment the above conversation happened. The GSA was visiting for a conference. We (former students) went out to eat with him at a Korean Chinese restaurant at Japan Town. How sick was that such place exist? LOL. Food were good, though. This picture, however, was by a coffee shop still in Japan Town where we were for an after-dinner coffee session, his treat!



PS:
I have always thought that this will be a nice starter bling, or better yet this. I am tired of being cameraless. The 1S has met its unfortunate fate sometime last year. Alas, all semblance of personal economic welfare these days needs to be channeled for more important causes.

D-1

Per tradition.

So tomorrow is THE day. The culmination point of things I have done about 1/3 of my life so far. At this point, I am trying to keep the sanity intact while reading more background material.

Things I've done pertaining to the defense:

Placing order for a sandwich tray at HEB
Printing slide handouts and paperworks
Emailing committee a reminder to show up tomorrow
Working on last minute slide polishing
Sending defense announcement to the department

Things to do still:
Practice in full
Read more background
Buy little bit of veggies, fruits, desserts, drinks, and utensils (It is as 12 on the dot tomorrow afternoon)

I wish my father were still with us when this day came.

Wish me luck, dear friends, and pray for my poor soul.

State of Things

Ade's writing my bio...hihihi...I have a personal biographer!

Phone interview today with S*h*a*r*p L*a*b of A*m*e*r*i*c*a, they offered an on-site interview next week!

My goodness....deadline is approaching...dissertation (submit to committee members first week of April)...defense (April 23)...help...help....

Long Update

Dissertation update:
I am about a week late on the schedule. I should've finished Chapter II this weekend which contains the bulk of experimental method and background theory behind the method. It just taking too long because I am sort of being idealist about stuff. I view writing this chapter (and the rest of the chapters for that matter) as a part of interviewing preparation more than anything else.

I can sort of copy/paste materials from my papers for the cream of the dissertation: Chapter III, IV, V, and maybe VI. Each chapter will have approximately two weeks editing time and any other necessary supported measurement or what not dedicated for it. I'll scoop in Chapter I, which is the Introduction, and Chapter VII which is the Conclusion somehow in the middle of this craziness. I am planning to give the finished product to the advisor by April 4th, and to the rest of the committee members by April 9. That leaves me two weeks for working on the slides and what not. Time really flies when you break it down like that.

Job searching update:
It still sucks. I haven't heard any interview opportunity for an industrial position, from my job hunting sources: school's career center, the internet, the department, etc. Until about Tuesday last week when an opportunity presented itself to me. It is for a post-doc at the next door department. I'm pretty heaved about it. Money is for sure not as lucrative as a spot in the industry, but future careers in academia or industry are sort of opened smoothly through it. We'll see, I am not even sure I got in, but apparently they kinda want me bad.

Some semblance of a romance update:
B' asked me to watch a movie with him. "What kind?" I said, I read him the list of the website. "Pick a good one for date movie," he said. I was pretty confused about this. "Are we dating now? Or is it the type of movie you want to watch?" I wish I had the courage to ask. LOL.

The day of the date, he called me in with an invitation to dinner at his friends' before the movie. During the dinner the friend said something to him that sounded similar to this. "I forgot that you are on a date tonight." "Now you make me look bad in front of her," he said. So, yeah, there was my confirmation. We really were on a date. I should've picked it from the way he dressed that night.

His friends, a pair of husband-wife, were really welcoming, nice, and imposing. They are about two-three years younger than me. The husband went I-hope-you'll-be-a-regular here several times, referring to me hanging out with them. The wife went it's-nice-to-finally-have-a-girl-to-talk-to. It seems they have higher faith in this relationship than me. Honestly, I don't even know what B' sees in me. We haven't really talked all that much, we haven't really cross-assessed (mentally or other-ly speaking) each other that much. He amazed me though, by remembering the detail of our first going out, even the shoes I wore. "They are pointy, they are green, like an elf shoes..." "You remember all that...I'm blushing now." "Don't be...they are cute." Shoes fetish alert? j/k.

We went to watch the movie. There were some sort of intimacy here and there, proper hand placements and all, which I didn't object to. We went to his apartment afterward, he made us Mudslides and we sat by the pool. A couple of people with Indian background came down carrying cakes and candles, apparently for a surprise birthday party. I asked B' when is his birthday. "The day I defended was my birthday. And we went to that play that Friday." "Oww...why you didn't tell me that?" "It was an early stage for us, I didn't want to bother you, besides I have the thesis to work on, I didn't prepare for anything." Early stage, huh. Hmm..he's been thinking about that night and about us since. I am scared now.

He walked me home after, hugged me goodnight, and said he had a good time. There were future plans to movies, to basketball games. So yeah, it's not too far fetched to say I'm kinda dating him. Exclusively or not, either way I have to figure out how to act on this (and also on the termination of J-gate, if there is ever a J-gate. It wouldn't be fair to him otherwise). I am so clueless every time and blaming it totally on being a "late bloomer". So help me God. In the moment of awkwardness during that hug, I kinda kissed him on the cheek. LOL. I feel I need a confession now.

The End

The Train Has Left the Station

hey

yes
you know what J, I was just thinking

what u thinking girl

like the playa...we have the same interest on musics, books, sports, topics for discussion, etc...
even chocolate!
so I thought I found the guy version of me...a soul mate...

dont get ur hopes too high yet
the fall will be higher
and besides everybody always say that when u are starting to know each other, the puppy love

well yes..that exactly somehow my point
you don't need someone to have the same interests
it takes the mystery out of the relationship...the fun is actually less...the exploration is dull
no I dont have hopes on him..it is more like a spur of the moment...the joy of bumping into someone who can have the same interests as me...
is it weird thinking?

sorry was in wece
and talking to mom too

euyyhh...at the same time?

noooooooooooooooooooo of course
was cleaning something in restroom

hhi ok

u puppy in lov

hm...never met someone like before...that's just one in a million chance

everybody always say that

ok..I never said it before

oh well

yeah..oh well...
if it wasnt meant to be it wasnt meant to be
what do we know right

any kino from u?
ur fault

haha...
I'm just not used to it..

get used to it
or the train will leave
for good
or it might have left long time ago

dang!

turn and look behind u
do u see it?

dang double dang

its gone

and it was a bullet train too
no wonder I missed it
I'm accustomed to the coal powered one

The Closest Things to a

Scene on My Best's Friend Wedding

Reference Scene

George Downes: Michael's chasing Kimmy?
Julianne Potter: Yes!
George Downes: You're chasing Michael?
Julianne Potter: YES!
George Downes: Who's chasing you... nobody, get it? There's your answer. It's Kimmy.

Actual Scenes

Nomenclature:
X = the troubled female
J = member of the opposite sex X digs
B' = member of the opposite sex X went on an alleged "date" with
M = female friend of X

Situation 1:
X and M were on a line for a free lunch
B' and J were also on the same line, a person apart from X and M
X and M were talking
B' saw X and nodded acknowledgedly, might be wanting to strike a small conversation
X and M still talking to each other
X finally stroke a conversation with B'
B', X, and M immediately were in a group conversation
When B' and M talked with each other, X sneakily stroke a conversation with J, involving a high five
B' eagerly joined on the conversation

Situation 2:
X and M sat together at the lunch
B' and J went their separate ways
After lunch J suddenly came over and sat beside X (he would stay until the end of the day)
B' still sat at his seat
J and X involved in a very moving conversation about everything and nothing
X thought she saw B' looking at her and J several times

With those situations firmly recorded on her mind, X is now confused on who is "chasing" who.

--> denotes one-way "chasing"
<--> denotes mutual

Scenario:
1. B'-->X-->J (who is J "chasing"? Answer: Tall, skinny, curly, dark-haired hottie)
2. B'--> J or vice versa (LOL, Bu Didi, you're too funny!)
3. J<-->X
4. X--> J or B' (shooting-for-the-star-landing-on-a-moon mentality)


1, 2, and 3 are highly unlikely. 4 is what's really happening.

And I'm officially stressed out I came up with the silliest post. I've started to write my dissertation officially yesterday. We'll see how I survive.

Remember December

I was on elliptical machine this afternoon when the news of Benazir Bhutto assassination was broadcasted over NPR. I know nothing about Pakistani politics and a few questions come into mind. Does she still have power over Pakistan for her to be the target of assassination like that. Yeah, she is the opposition leader, but to think that both incumbent government and her potential-would-be-government are both US-backed makes it a moot point. Why they haven't succeeded in killing Musharaf?

can people get tired of the beach?

i guess
u can get tired of anything i suppose

hehe
poor Ms. Bhutto

yeah

emang gimana sih dia? masih berpengaruh kah sampe perlu dibunuh?

yeah she's the main rival...
she's big in P town
:P

either way incumbent goverment and hers are US backed, no?

yes
maybe isszz becoz da wimmen aren't supposed to do thiese things
taliban says
:P

stupid Taliban
her resume is impressive

yup
well time for a round up of construction today
c ya later...

bye
may the god of $mn be with you

On a lighter note, I didn't realize that MTV2 took over the channel assigned by my cable company for CSPAN2--the cable company rhymes with box, if you must know. I was ready to tune in to CSPAN2 thinking that today is part of the weekend (and on weekends I watch/listen to BookTV while working on my stuff). A quick browsing at TVGuide Listings showed that they moved it all the way to channel 74. I reprogrammed the TV and found the said channel.

Back to working on latest paper. The paper is based on a proceeding we submitted. The advisor wanted the first finish product in less than two-weeks time. I am thinking this is a nice way to spend the lasts days of 2007 when one is somehow broke and is still in limbo over financial situation in the incoming semester.

In any rate, I am going to submit the paper to him and immediately ask for defense scheduling no later than beginning of May. Wish this poor girl some form of luck?

Just for the sake of posting picture. This is the stuff Sis and I cooked for a potluck Christmas dinner at a friend's. Our Korean-themed entrees (beef bulgoki, grilled pork, legume dumpling, and fishcake) blended well with the rest of the local and international selections brought by others. Oh, not to forget the ever indulging Panamanian rum ponche.



W(B)MD post-script:
Wednesday: three-mile run
Thursday: thirty minute elliptical, ten minute stationary bike, twenty minute upper body work out

Sexy_Mechanic

For whatever reason, today I dressed myself in a skirt and a cute top. I wore full make-up and (kitten) heels too. All of those because I had foreseen no need to enter the laboratory; adding into it was the holiday mood, you know, since Death-by-Pies day is approaching.

It turned out I needed to enter the laboratory, not for a plethora of measurement work but for actual hard-laboring. Bulk of it was the work with a resurrected pump and the setting up of filter for the dirty oil. Can you imagine doing those with make-up, heels and skirt? Granted that I wore the bun*ny suit and boots to cover my more-than-slightly-feminine outfit.

I also had found a working laser unit for my new experiment and have assembled a stand to hold it close to the sample.

Getting a bit nostalgic...

i am downloading kevin smith podcasts
is there a word that sounds like "demurage" and related to bank charges ?

hm? don't know
not familiar with financial term

btw..XXX was not familiar with Kevin Smith....

always relating him with Chasing Amy

the first one we saw .......

:)
you remember!

it is hard to introduce someone to kevin smith with out getting all the reference...
yes i remember
aggie cinema

were you there with My Best Friend's Wedding?
"...place like College Station, Texas"
WHOOP

I think so....
aggie cinema

it was fun
good ol' days...

Intv

I didn't know that resume drop for that company with the info session last night already been done. I just gave him a copy of my resume (on plain copy paper instead of on resume paper). He said, he'll contact me if a spot opened up, and guess what, at 1 PM he e-mailed me for an interview spot at 3:15. I rushed home, dressed in my brown pant-suit, prepared myself as much as I could in the two hours before the interview.

The interview itself went OK, at least I got a chance to brush up my interview skill to an industry audience outside my usual targeted industry. He's promising a yes/no news nevertheless. I also picked up an application for a TA position on that department next semester. Couldn't just wait on the advisor for this kind of thing.

Boring Boring

In conjunction with what I said here, I found another point to list into the parallelism. During salary negotiation in job seeking process, the one who came up with a number first generally lost. Same thing with asking somebody out, when things goes south, it's probably primarily counted as the asker's lost. All these stemmed from an epiphany that I believe I innocently invited somebody to a public event, on which he probably thought it was me asking him out indirectly. Dang it. I did not have such intention. He didn't come anyway and listed the perfect excuses for it.

On the health front, I feel sleepy, bloated, and suffer from some kind of a back problem. I don't feel like staying for more work after teaching. I have an info session to attend to in a couple of minutes, which makes me automatically miss the last ToT of this year. I'm planning to go home right after.

Today also, we (J and I) played human relation management on a group in class. I can never be to hard on these students. It's just my nature. We'll see if the management style we came up with for the three group members work perfectly. It's nice when your school can accommodate for your learning disability.

Live Blogging: The Academe Wanna Be pt. II

I think I'm done with the application...some last minute polishing and then it'll be on its way out to the information superhighway...let the ridicules commence

ha ha...dont be so hard on yourself :P

:P

Updated:

how do you feel ?
how many application did you send ?

feel? it's a long shot

:)
Adventures of Galaxy Rangers
one of those 80s cartoon
their research lab is called Longshot
:)

hahahaha
that's funny
hahahahah

Live Blogging: The Academe Wanna Be

Pak..
having a crisis of confidence
I looked at that N*C*SU dept....man...the profs are like dewa/dewi gitu

ha ha

I think they'll laugh at my application

isn't there a placement office or soemthing at ur department?

placement office? career center?

well...not for undergrads
for teaching jobs for Phd candidates
usually lewat ur professors bukan? they'll recommend this or that school

oh let me tell you something....the letter is dated Oct 17...pdhl job opening udah dari September 23 gitu...and it'll be supposedly "closed" next Monday....jadi mereka tuh nggak nganggep A&M dari awal kali ya

well N*C State is a real intense industry supported research place..

I know
I'm just turning it in...see what kind of response (or lack of)

yeah...why not

eh...belum turn in sih,...right now working on my planned research and teaching
hihihi

ok

Academe

R stopped by my office the other night.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, he rarely stayed in school pass 7 PM.

"I have experiment to run. Hey, have you looked at that teaching position at NCSU?" He said.

From then on, he did nothing but encouraged me to apply.

"I'm not smart, I'm a hardworker, but I'm not smart." Self-proclaimed honesty hurts.

"You have two advantages, of being a woman and being a minority." He said. "You are gonna be OK."

So with that, he has opened my eyes. I am geared towards seriously thinking about life and work in the academia. It was just never the options before.

One thing that I realized when one pursue a career in the academia is that the pool of applicants is smaller. It has comparably different requirements and works in a different way than the jobs in the industry. At the very least, the application file has a bigger chance to be reviewed by someone on the other end, unlike the online application for big wig industries I've been applying to but have never heard back from.

The biggest problem is to work on ideas for research plan and teaching plan. Thinking about them already giving me a feeling of authority and independence. I'm planning to finish up things tomorrow and submit the resume, cover letter, list of reference, list of publication, and the planned research + teaching activities at night.

I'm having a high time working on this application set.

Wish me luck?

Academia?

hey Pak question
what do you think me as a professor?
susah banget kayanya dapet kerja industri...so I'm going to pursue both...industry and academia

why not...
professors make goooooooooood money

it's not just the money....I want to have some type of personal life too
and to achieve something

a life on campus...
do more research...

yes? okay then....

go for it

hihihi
it turns out I love teaching
and researching
so...

where r u applying?

there's one at NCSU

very cool place

I'm going to start looking around
what ever school, as long as they have facility
hahaha

Georgia (UGA) is a cool town...athens
gak tau ada engineering apa nggak tuh sekolah

ok...ideally something "lower" than A&M
there's no way I can apply to better school

UTD!
i keep telling ya

hahahaha
ok ok

that's an up and comer school

yeah I like TX

trust me
it's like TI's research slaves
it originated as a TI lab

oh ya???

Eric Johnson School of Engineering
one of TI's big wigs
founder...or something

ah
ok..this is exciting

nerd
:P

Unproductive

This week, I easily had more than 12-hour working day and yet it feels doesn't mean I got a lot of things done. Among the non-productive activities, and by non-productive I mean interfering with paper writing, I was involved with:

• Assisting with safety inspection
  
• Baby-sitting the new student
• Cleaning my part of the lab, doing unnecessary calibration
• Going across campus to buy some type of protective wear
• Dealing with students who wanted a regrading of their report
• Making poster presentation for the research in preparation for a visit from a company representative
• Picking up packages for the lab
• Researching and buying (paperwork and stuff) for lab equipment

No room for breathing. No time for anything else. No wonder I'm still a ...

On the other hand, I got to talk (for 30 minutes) with the company representative who asked for a copy of my resume. A knowledgeable person, yet still humble, and assertive.

Popcorns and Such

It must be cute to have fights over silly things such as these...[instead, I promised a certain higher authority, I won't be pondering over this kind of stuff and its derivative if I can get a few job opportunities coming my way. I am that desperate.]

"I don't like popcorns."

"Unamerican...I like the buttery smell...uhm...yummy..."

"I hated the smell...yuck...how could somebody have popcorn for lunch?

"I did that..."

"I do love when they are sweet though, what is that thing with the ring inside the box."

"Ah...Crackerjacks.."

"Crackerjacks, yeah..."

"Yeah, I do love caramel popcorn."

.
.
.

"Are you having allergy too?"

"Allergy, what allergy? I was just too tired over the weekend. I got drunk, I went to see the game, I partied. I'm not your average PhD student, I have more undergraduate friends --and kept adding it more-- than graduate friends. My nose looks yellow because..."

"Ah. Yeah, you are. Well...You want a tissue or something?"

"No!" while gesturing his head just so and he kept sneezing, coughing, and had trouble breathing.

After a couple more of those, I took out the extra tissue from my bag...

"Here..."

"No, why?" He said while was generally irritated by my so-called term of affection.

I shook my shoulders and looked back at the presentation in front of us.

A few minutes later, he lightly tapped on my arm and took the tissue I had pulled out for him and used it to swipe his runny nose.

"Why was it so hard to admit that you too can get sick? What a type-A!" I should have told him that, instead, I just smiled nonchalantly.

Caught Up

Enough with boys, back at regular blogging...

I am writing two different proceedings in tandem, both using the same topics. It's not easy to make a distinction on what to put in each manuscript. Before I even go further, I still have no idea on how to take the available data and compile them into something coherent.

There is also a question if I need more data. I am having problem with the programming, or should I say, the limitation of what the program can do to communicate with the measurement machine. And if the measurement work, this new set of data is sort of out of place.

The thing is I am having some sort semblance of a sore throat and a leakage in the nasal passage, which when combined with this slight headache, are successfully claiming my ability to concentrate on things. Not that I do a great job in the attention span department before anyway.

On the job front, I applied online to a couple more openings today. Job searching is the first thing I do once I get out of the bed every single day since last week. I still haven't heard from any company so far with a chance for interview.

I have the utmost intention not to screw whatever future interview(s) opportunity(ies) entails. I make that a pact with myself. You are your own worst enemy.

Now, happy weekend.

Support system

You know what, I could never be more grateful for my support system.

One of them, my sweet Ikanda, sent this especially sweet e-mail...Thank you, dear. She's (and Ade too) always been there in toughest times of my life.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EXHabCTCB0g

"I HAVE CONFIDENCE" from The Sound of Music..

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared

[..A captain with seven children
What's so fearsome about that?..]

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children (Heaven bless them!)
They will look up to me

And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

love,
ika

A former colleague gave me tips on job seeking, called me twice in the span of 12 hours, and ensured me about the many other job opportunities out there. He even sent me his resume and asked to keep it confidential due to his current job arrangement.

T listened to all my rambles about losing my confidence.

I stole Bu Didi's thunder from what supposed to be the limelight that is her birthday by confiding in her.

D in the middle of his dissertation preparation fiasco spared sometime to call me.

G calmed me down. "It was not meant for you," she said after I told her the details.

And of course there is NY.

I just have to be a stronger person. At least I have the experience on undergoing a though mentally-draining-long-hours interview. This has to be going somewhere.