Sunday, September 30, 2007


I spent a considerable amount of time today hanging out by the pool (not actually in the pool and not actually donning swimsuit) with the cooler and nicer people.

Topics covered:
  • So and so
  • Another so and so and so and so
  • Some other so and so
  • A case study on a certain night life activity
  • Cross-continent travel
  • Raising family
  • Wildlife, plant life
  • Cannabis cultivation
  • The difference between the wave, current, beach condition on the Atlantic and Pacific oceans
  • A group of native people who refused to be controlled by a certain government, who in the same time is successfully maintaining that kind of autonomy
  • The existence of car washing system bar none (involving female associates in minimum to nothing covering and soaps, lots of soaps)

Sometimes, simple meaningful conversations are just the things you need to recharge.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Support system

You know what, I could never be more grateful for my support system.

One of them, my sweet Ikanda, sent this especially sweet e-mail...Thank you, dear. She's (and Ade too) always been there in toughest times of my life.

"I HAVE CONFIDENCE" from The Sound of Music..

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed for adventure
To do the things I've never dared
And here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared

[..A captain with seven children
What's so fearsome about that?..]

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me

Somehow I will impress them
I will be firm but kind
And all those children (Heaven bless them!)
They will look up to me

And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They'll have to agree I have confidence in me

I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!


A former colleague gave me tips on job seeking, called me twice in the span of 12 hours, and ensured me about the many other job opportunities out there. He even sent me his resume and asked to keep it confidential due to his current job arrangement.

T listened to all my rambles about losing my confidence.

I stole Bu Didi's thunder from what supposed to be the limelight that is her birthday by confiding in her.

D in the middle of his dissertation preparation fiasco spared sometime to call me.

G calmed me down. "It was not meant for you," she said after I told her the details.

And of course there is NY.

I just have to be a stronger person. At least I have the experience on undergoing a though mentally-draining-long-hours interview. This has to be going somewhere.

H. Depressus

What will you do on a Saturday morning/afternoon when you just got a rejection from a dream job at a dream company the night before?

By this time, you had immediately pulling yourself up and applied online to as many as opportunities as you can get hold of with other big and famous companies a bit beyond your comfort level.

And to top it off, the one guy that you innocently lead to believe is the "love of your life" might have just become unavailable.

Getting drunk with exactly 37.5 cl of raspberry wine? That's not even enough to make you tipsy.

Meditation, self-introspections, prayers, and moving on. So help me, God.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Happy Weekend

Eh lupa belum mengucapkan selamat akhir pekan

TG it's F'in Friday!


time for some R & R in D-Town
Denpasar lol

it's always R & D in CS-Town
research and development LOL

ha ha

my kinda song

serem amat

not fitting the profile, eh
me and these kinda songs?

no not really

Thursday, September 27, 2007

tu es Petrus et super hanc petram

I made it a habit to stop by, and if possible, to attend Mass at the local Catholic church of the place I'm traveling in.

In NM last December, it was easy. Churches were aplenty. We visited Santa Fe's San Miguel, the oldest church in North America, and Loretto chapel, home of the miraculous hanging stairs. The sad thing was that the touristy atmosphere almost jettison the warm, sacred feeling. I wonder if people couldn't help but making the same empty devotion on their visit to the Notre Dame, Basilica di San Paolo, and all of the famous churches out there.

I visited St. Patrick's in downtown SF last April in the morning before I hoped on BART to the airport for my flight back to H-town. I sat still for a couple minutes with the soothing sound of waterfall in the background. I took enough pictures while admiring the architecture. It was unfortunate that I missed their Wednesday noontime concert.

In May back home, I noticed that St. Lusia Rumbai had significant architectural changes. They opened up the sidewalls and installed hanging wooden doors to accommodate the growing number of attendants and to provide better circulation. St. Maria at the capital city of the province was under renovation. I'm wondering about the mural they were working on at the half-dome. In both churches, it was such a nice experience to listen to Mass in the native language again.

The latest place of worship I visited was St. Matthew's not far from downtown Hillsboro, OR, just this last Thursday. I needed a place to cool down after the mentally draining interview with the biggest company in town. The doors were locked but as I was about to give up and drive away, I saw people went into a small building next door. It was the church office and chapel. And just what I needed the most, a Mass was going to be offered in a couple minutes. So there I was, sitting at the bilingual (English-Spanish) Mass, with my fellow brothers and sisters with the same thirst for worship. I look at those tired faces and admired their faith.

Onto the next churches, onto the next cities.

Soliloquy II

So it begins, the days of contemplating and imagining, of self-pitying and self-doubting, of drenching in ecstasy and, a moment later, in agony. These are the days of raising false hopes and crashing into reality. Nothing is worse than it except for dying.

So help me, God.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Love Actually?

Pak Pak
hadduuuhhh I think I'm falling in love with the guyyyyy
(barusan liat profile Facebooknya)
fav books: Sun Tzu, 7 Habits, The Prince
salah satu fav TV show: Newsradio
highschool: S*trike Je*su*it Prep
he ranks the highest in my black book
and he plays b-ball
oh I'm giggling intermitently
btw, the guy is 6'6
there's a foot difference between us :(
eh more

whatever happened to no feelings involved

makanya menjilat ludah sendiri
I thought no such guy exists
and here he is, two floors down

huahahahahaha don't let the game beat you so quickly


Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Was he flirting with moi (and most importantly, did I flirt back?)? Or is this just a waste of heart space? FYI, this was the guy from yesterday's post.

Scene 1
Out of the blue, he asked "Are you dating anyone?"

"Nah, not really. I don't have time for that kind of stuff."

"Oh come on, we can always make time."

"Well, I date my research, it's been going on steady for four years now. "

"Yeah, is he good with you? Does he cook you dinner? What time are you coming here? What time are you leaving?"

"9 or 10, and I'll twelve hours later. And then I'm going to the Rec once or twice during weekdays. I don't go out much on the weekend."

"OK, but do you drink?"

"Yeah, I could, but not really. Well, I picked up a nice bottle of raspberry wine from that trip, you know, I like the after taste."

And then I told him the margarita story. He laughed hard.

Scene 2
He asked about a plethora of small information of my background.

"So, you're from Indonesia. Did you come here or were you born here?"

I told him about R*u*m*b*a*i and that I went here for school.

"The reason I asked is that your English is pretty refined."

"Hey, 10 years, it could've been better."

"I know some Phillipinos and Vietnamese people back in my middle school, and they have pretty thick accent. But not you."

Scene 3
I read my paper, he did his sudoku. We sat side by side. In between, he asked about what the paper was about.

Btw, the first time he opened the (school) newspaper, he went straight to the funnies.

"Straight to the funnies..." I commented.
"Hey, survey said, 80% of people who live and breathe went straight to the comics section."
"Nice to know I'm not the only one..."

"Look at this drawing. Before they draw girls with big breasts and stuff, and then they were protested for it not being the real case. And then they started drawing fat ones, and that didn't work well either. Now, they ended up with this boxy caricature."
"Ha ha. Do you draw?"
"No, I don't" (Bu Didi, the guy's not that Renaissance after all, hi hi hi)

Scene 4
I filled up part of the crossword puzzle from the newspaper. He came over and sat beside me. I handed him the pencil and kinda worked it with him (I'm imagining future date activities: crossword puzzles, brain games, etc.). He finished it in less than 5 minutes with coy. "This is easy."

What an alpha male!

Scene 5
He put his hands on the ice-water mixture and casually put one of them on my upper arm.

"What are you doing?"
"I put my hands on the ice mixture. I'm bored. I'm bugging you."
I looked at my watch. "It's almost over, 20 minutes to go."


Amidst things to be said and done
A bow in silence would heal
But the mind still wanders
And the faith shatters
And arrogance still prevails

Monday, September 24, 2007


What's your plan? To become a professor?

Nah, I don't want to.

What do you mean? You actually are really good at teaching.

Nah, I sometimes need to contemplate not to snap. "You're not doing it right!"

Well, that's kinda what we sometime needs from a professor.

It was part of a practical conversation par above what I've ever had with anyone. This guy is freaking bright and amazing. From there we talked about his idea of new kind of built-in heat exchanger on his future house, the one he will build by himself instead of handling it to developer.

"Heat exchanger is my forte," he proclaimed.

"I love to watch This Old House," I said. I share this idea of building something with your own hand. Carpentry, plumbing, dry-walling, electronics, he has done them all. I see my father in him. What a renaissance man!

Last but not least, his eyes got lit up when the conversation turned into salt water aquariums. Hey, what do I know, I met another person who shares the same passion.

Monday, September 17, 2007

24 Hours in a Day of a Grad Student, pt II

6:10 PM Done with sample preparation, Exited CR

6:13 PM Looked at sisters' resume, did editing work on both

6:55 PM Ate the unfinished lunch

7:05 PM Started on odds and ends of interview preparation

7:10 PM R stopped by the office looking all tired and greasy (eeuuw!!). He reported failed processes on his two lab sessions. Chatted with him and the colleague to brainstorm the possible cause and solution of the problems

7:22 PM Received a call from JEM, arranged dinner for as soon as she landed here.

7:45 PM Refused to inspect R lab section's samples..."I need to prepare!!" Continued on odds and ends of preparation

9:00 PM JEM landed, waiting to be picked up for dinner

10:10 PM Went back to school to print out resume for tomorrow's career fair


wow this is harsh...
"If I claim to hear radio transmissions in my head and I profess that I am an alien from Delgar-5 sent to save the world, I am hardly hire able and will likely be fired at the first opportunity, and I may even be committed for psychiatric treatment.But if I claim I talk daily to
some invisible man in the sky who metaphysically raped a virgin and impregnated her with his bastard son 2000 years ago

, just so that son could wander around the desert with a whore and a band of hippies prior to being sacrificed and resurrected for the future sin of mankind, oh yeah and on Sundays I EAT him... well there is nothing crazy about that. Right? That is a religious belief and should be respected."

those looney atheists :P

utter blasphemy

tee hee hee...

...and it was only yesterday after church that I picked up a handout on Catholic Apologetic.

"But do it with gentleness and reference reverence" was printed somewhere on it.

24 Hours in a Day of a Grad Student, pt I

10 PM: Found out from hiring manager that the company travel rep sent out a trip scheduling email to another e-mail five days ago, on-site interview is this Thursday

10:01 PM: Called travel rep, called another number given for emergency, sent e-mail to hiring manager

10:15 PM: Ate dinner while fussing about how stupid she was

10:30 PM-2:30 AM: Immersed in preparation for the presentation for the interview

2:40 AM: Ate fourth meal, all those preparation consumed energy, you know. Slept.

8:30 AM: Woke up, looked up for company campus location in case they suggested a hotel or something, gave up on Googling, started to look things to wear today: khakis, tucked in white shirt, black belt, black ballet shoes

8:45 AM: Re-sow one of the button on the white shirt (it was sewn with black thread before by me few months ago)

8:48 AM: Made the bed

9-9:30 AM: Called the travel people, got a seat on the earliest flight out of CS on Wednesday, got a car rental and hotel booked

9:30 AM: Shower

9:50 AM: Arrived at school, embarked on a search of proper TC to buy for the lab

10:30 AM: Talked to the TC company's tech people, got a part number, prepared PO

10:45 AM: Checked on latest data to show the advisor

11:15 AM: Printed out PO, got the advisor's signature, discussed said data

11:45 AM: Back at office, started to gather things to ask students on their class presentation day

1:10 PM: Ate lunch

1:15 PM: Went down to print out evaluation sheet

1:40 PM: Arrived at the presentation room, listened to four group presentations, asked questions, pointed out stuff (nice that JG was there, he's supposed to be the instructor, not the inexperience me!)

04:20 PM: Finished with undergrad folks

04:10 PM: Entered CR to prepare samples

Friday, September 14, 2007

Babes Again

you have to see this

it's funnnyyyyyyyyyyy!

you have to see this too!

no more baby crap!
babies are da debil!

hey I put up with your cemen songs

ok ok
he was injured haha

injured bad

Thursday, September 13, 2007


"What's 'fresco'?" He asked when he saw the name of one of the folders in the computer I was using.

"Ah, nothing," I said ever so tactfully. Thank God the guy has attention span of that of a fly. I don't want to explain to him why I used that particular word in a folder that contains the data of a "fresh" sample. I might have appeared to know his language more than necessary.

Sometimes, it's just too plain a life around here. I use those of kinds of trick to kick it up a notch. Today, I named another folder "Hopefully Right". It contains the data of new sets of data that hopefully will give appropriate result. Wonder what he'll say if he sees it.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Babe and Job Opp.

I know you're a "cruel and heartless individual" (direct quote)
but please look at this

ha ha
*yawn *

still no?

and...drum roll!!!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Breathing In and Out a Paper Bag

I'm waiting for the contact person to get back to me after my OK with his proposed on-site interview date. Is it still going to happen?

Anxious...need to be more patience...need to be totally prepared...need ... a paper bag

Hey, you cut your hair!
I didn't give any compliment, because, to be honest, the cut doesn't suit him at all.


Have you ever been wondering about who is the person behind a familiar voice, much like a built-up curiosity about a writer --and by writer I also meant bloggers-- more than just what appear on the writings? How are these people presenting themselves in real life? Well, I have, too many times to count.

It was Garrison Keillor of the A Praire Home Companion fame speaking in an ALA Conference back in June which was aired this weekend on Book TV. He was articulate on his narratives as always. The radio program succeeded to make me feel like I am a part of the Midwesterners. I have soft spot for life in the region, My Antonia is one of my favorite books.
As much as my own belittlement of the fads on health and fitness, I've grown to follow suit. In my defense, I do it for the sake of variety more than the faith on miraculous effect they promise. Every other day or so I undergo my version of beginner High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT). It consists of 3 sets of 3 minutes walking, 5 minutes running, and 1 minute sprinting. I also bike for 10-minute at constant resistance followed by 20 minutes or so working out. I alternate the work out into upper body (chest press, row, dip machine, rotating torso, abs, dumbbell, back extension) and legs (abduction, adduction, curl, press, calves). Now that I write it down, I should divide the working out into three parts instead of two.

Ah another week has arrived. What am I doing up at this hour? Help.

Friday, September 07, 2007

As Seen in FD

Hi my name is Xinda and I'm 28 going on 15. :P

This outfit is just beyond regulation, what with the skirt and flip-flops. I'm doing my best not to enter the lab today.

Polo shirt: Aeropostale
Layering tank top: F21
Skirt: some store in Mangga Dua (mommy bought me)
Flip-flops: H&M
Bag: Fake Rabeanco from Mangga Dua (courtesy of NY)
Necklace: some store in Harwin (courtesy of NY)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

What Do You Think?

I sent a reply just now to say I'm interested, but there are only two spots. I've been in school too long and being an international student, I might have some inputs on what a better curriculum should be about. We'll see.

I just love this graffiti. Thanks a buncho, Ade! It made my day....hahaha...

Monday, September 03, 2007

A Happy Birthday

I held NY at knife-point the day before, "I don't want any surprise party!"

"No, I am not planning for anything, " she said with that poker face of hers, I should have known better.

Instead of an over-rated surprise party, I am planning a quick family (and significant others of family)-only trip to the ice cream place that night. I have to go back to the lab afterward.

At the appointed time, my brother picked me up from school, without NY. "She's still in shower," he said. That was uncharacteristic of her to be late for any eating-out arrangement, but I didn't think of it as much.

Long story short, we needed to go back to the apartment to pick her up, but then, instead of just waiting in the car for NY to come out, he told me to go inside the apartment. Only then I began to suspect something fishy was going on. A quick observation of the guest parking area and the surrounding area yielded the sight of Ika's car and what looks like Ade's car parked illegally by the firelanes with its lights on.

When the apartment door opened, everybody yelled "SURPRISE". It was so loud that the neighbors on the left and right apartments went out to see what was going on. The two guys even went inside with us for candles blowing. To my surprise, one of them is my student in class today. (Side track: there's always something going on with me and one of my students around my birthday. See this post for what happened on last year's.)

Needless to say, it was the greatest surprise ever. Thank you guys! Thank you for your presence and most importantly thank you for the wonderful presents and cards. :P

Not pictured: the dark chocolate ensembles from NY. I laughed so hard after I opened it (inside joke).

List of birthday wishers in chronological order:
Mama & Tato (text messages on Sunday)
Bu Detta (blog comment AND Facebook, she's really the queen of social networking)
Ade (blog comment)
People in FD (Shinta was the initiator, it was from FS ya, Bu?)
Bu Didi's (shorter than usual) call during her drive to a BBQ, she was lost hence the shorter call
Dedy in the elevator
Mr. Cusack on FS message :)
Jen from AA 62 on Facebook
Kim on Facebook
Ika on the phone and then at the party
A phone call from T!!! (so sweet, akhirnya denger juga suara elu lagi)
Jeng Ren, Edna, Nani on FS comment

I guess that's about it. It is memorable, indeed.

Don't have the picture with everyone on it yet. I'm leaving you with this for now...he he he. THANKS!!!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Not Much Change

a year ago today, gue ama gym buddy di gym nih...on elliptical machines...trus masuk2in time, weight, age di programnya, dia bilang "Nda, ini hari terakhir loe masukin 26 ya, besok udah 27"
ntar malem gue ke gym lagi, hari terakhir masukin 27, besok udah 28

tomorrow's ur bday?

technically it's already the third di Indo

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! * ticker parade *

thank you!
but everytime around my birthday, I always felt miserable

ha ha
don't's just a number

soundtracknya aja 1979 nya Smashing Pumpkins


hahah iya just a number but it's also a timeline
ah udahlah banyakan depresi nya hahahah

the stupid clock sounding its alarm again huh?

I'll make it a go to the gym on the day before my birthday

ha ha
well i'mm off to bali... ngaben di kampung
bakar2 daging org

have you ever watched Silence of the Lamb and sequels?

hell no
have a good birthday ya!
eat well sleep well

hahaha drink well?

masya allah!!!

but I have to teach tomorrow and the day after


okeh have fun drive save good luck with dr. Crazy

cya from the other side...of the ocean haha

He Loves Indonesia

another room is semi-finished

over the weekend?

i bought frames buat lukisan sendiri in my room...then moved the paintings u hated in the new room

ha ha
kinda messy
bedding made in tanah abang

ahhahaah's pretty damn good

this is hte new room?
looks like your bedroom

uniform look
yg beda cuman beddingnya
this is mine

you know, the bride has to make herself the star of the show...that's why they have ugly dresses for the bridesmaids


hihi...this room is supposed to be ugly gitu
not almost the same as yours

he he
what do u think of the tanah abang bedding

bagus kok
couldn't see the difference

TOTAL cost...50 bucks

that's cheap!

ada bisa pesen
gue bawa aja majalah gue...
bikin kaya gini

you can make a line gitu
*insert name* for Matahari ? hihihi

paling enak bisa pesen mau kaya apa
i love indonesia

Saturday, September 01, 2007

An Avid but Stupid Reader

You know there is a thin line between saving time and wasting it. In my case it's on the way I read. I usually skim lines in order to read faster, but in the end, I need to go back to read them word by word because the full sentences just don't make sense. Two most recent cases are
"After being cleared of the ethnics violation, Brenda decided to seek a new job."
Ethnics violation? What does this term mean, I wonder. I had to reread the sentence to clear things up. It turned out to be ethic violation.
"I buy horses
Call ###-###-####"
Even though this is Texas, no one is casually selling and buying horses like that. I reread the sign to clear up my confusion. It turned out to be houses.