Seriously

In light of the so-called drama, I couldn't resist to post the following excellent eye-opening piece up here. It is applicable to the situation, as we, in a sense, are geeks, religious geeks. LoL. Come to think of it, it could be applied on any social groups, circles, etc. As for me, I am a GSF1 &GSF5 carrier, so people beware.

Taken from here via Facebook. © 2003 Michael Suileabhain-Wilson.

Five Geek Social Fallacies

Within the constellation of allied hobbies and subcultures collectively known as geekdom, one finds many social groups bent under a crushing burden of dysfunction, social drama, and general interpersonal wack-ness. It is my opinion that many of these never-ending crises are sparked off by an assortment of pernicious social fallacies -- ideas about human interaction which spur their holders to do terrible and stupid things to themselves and to each other.

Social fallacies are particularly insidious because they tend to be exaggerated versions of notions that are themselves entirely reasonable and unobjectionable. It's difficult to debunk the pathological fallacy without seeming to argue against its reasonable form; therefore, once it establishes itself, a social fallacy is extremely difficult to dislodge. It's my hope that drawing attention to some of them may be a step in the right direction.

I want to note that I'm not trying to say that every geek subscribes to every one of the fallacies I outline here; every individual subscribes to a different set of ideas, and adheres to any given idea with a different amount of zeal.

In any event, here are five geek social fallacies I've identified. There are likely more.

Geek Social Fallacy #1: Ostracizers Are Evil

GSF1 is one of the most common fallacies, and one of the most deeply held. Many geeks have had horrible, humiliating, and formative experiences with ostracism, and the notion of being on the other side of the transaction is repugnant to them.

In its non-pathological form, GSF1 is benign, and even commendable: it is long past time we all grew up and stopped with the junior high popularity games. However, in its pathological form, GSF1 prevents its carrier from participating in -- or tolerating -- the exclusion of anyone from anything, be it a party, a comic book store, or a web forum, and no matter how obnoxious, offensive, or aromatic the prospective excludee may be.

As a result, nearly every geek social group of significant size has at least one member that 80% of the members hate, and the remaining 20% merely tolerate. If GSF1 exists in sufficient concentration -- and it usually does -- it is impossible to expel a person who actively detracts from every social event. GSF1 protocol permits you not to invite someone you don't like to a given event, but if someone spills the beans and our hypothetical Cat Piss Man invites himself, there is no recourse. You must put up with him, or you will be an Evil Ostracizer and might as well go out for the football team.

This phenomenon has a number of unpleasant consequences. For one thing, it actively hinders the wider acceptance of geek-related activities: I don't know that RPGs and comics would be more popular if there were fewer trolls who smell of cheese hassling the new blood, but I'm sure it couldn't hurt. For another, when nothing smacking of social selectiveness can be discussed in public, people inevitably begin to organize activities in secret. These conspiracies often lead to more problems down the line, and the end result is as juvenile as anything a seventh-grader ever dreamed of.

Geek Social Fallacy #2: Friends Accept Me As I Am

The origins of GSF2 are closely allied to the origins of GSF1. After being victimized by social exclusion, many geeks experience their "tribe" as a non-judgmental haven where they can take refuge from the cruel world outside.

This seems straightforward and reasonable. It's important for people to have a space where they feel safe and accepted. Ideally, everyone's social group would be a safe haven. When people who rely too heavily upon that refuge feel insecure in that haven, however, a commendable ideal mutates into its pathological form, GSF2.

Carriers of GSF2 believe that since a friend accepts them as they are, anyone who criticizes them is not their friend. Thus, they can't take criticism from friends -- criticism is experienced as a treacherous betrayal of the friendship, no matter how inappropriate the criticized behavior may be.

Conversely, most carriers will never criticize a friend under any circumstances; the duty to be supportive trumps any impulse to point out unacceptable behavior.

GSF2 has extensive consequences within a group. Its presence in substantial quantity within a social group vastly increases the group's conflict-averseness. People spend hours debating how to deal with conflicts, because they know (or sometimes merely fear) that the other person involved is a GSF2 carrier, and any attempt to confront them directly will only make things worse. As a result, people let grudges brew much longer than is healthy, and they spend absurd amounts of time deconstructing their interpersonal dramas in search of a back way out of a dilemma.

Ironically, GSF2 carriers often take criticism from coworkers, supervisors, and mentors quite well; those individuals aren't friends, and aren't expected to accept the carrier unconditionally.

Geek Social Fallacy #3: Friendship Before All

Valuing friendships is a fine and worthy thing. When taken to an unhealthy extreme, however, GSF3 can manifest itself.

Like GSF2, GSF3 is a "friendship test" fallacy: in this case, the carrier believes that any failure by a friend to put the interests of the friendship above all else means that they aren't really a friend at all. It should be obvious that there are a million ways that this can be a problem for the carrier's friends, but the most common one is a situation where friends' interests conflict -- if, for example, one friend asks you to keep a secret from another friend. If both friends are GSF3 carriers, you're screwed -- the first one will feel betrayed if you reveal the secret, and the other will feel betrayed if you don't. Your only hope is to keep the second friend from finding out, which is difficult if the secret in question was a party that a lot of people went to.

GSF3 can be costly for the carrier as well. They often sacrifice work, family, and romantic obligations at the altar of friendship. In the end, the carrier has a great circle of friends, but not a lot else to show for their life. This is one reason why so many geek circles include people whose sole redeeming quality is loyalty: it's hard not to honor someone who goes to such lengths to be there for a friend, however destructive they may be in other respects.

Individual carriers sometimes have exceptions to GSF3, which allow friends to place a certain protected class of people or things above friendship in a pinch: "significant others" is a common protected class, as is "work".

Geek Social Fallacy #4: Friendship Is Transitive

Every carrier of GSF4 has, at some point, said:

"Wouldn't it be great to get all my groups of friends into one place for one big happy party?!"

If you groaned at that last paragraph, you may be a recovering GSF4 carrier.

GSF4 is the belief that any two of your friends ought to be friends with each other, and if they're not, something is Very Wrong.

The milder form of GSF4 merely prevents the carrier from perceiving evidence to contradict it; a carrier will refuse to comprehend that two of their friends (or two groups of friends) don't much care for each other, and will continue to try to bring them together at social events. They may even maintain that a full-scale vendetta is just a misunderstanding between friends that could easily be resolved if the principals would just sit down to talk it out.

A more serious form of GSF4 becomes another "friendship test" fallacy: if you have a friend A, and a friend B, but A & B are not friends, then one of them must not really be your friend at all. It is surprisingly common for a carrier, when faced with two friends who don't get along, to simply drop one of them.

On the other side of the equation, a carrier who doesn't like a friend of a friend will often get very passive-aggressive and covertly hostile to the friend of a friend, while vigorously maintaining that we're one big happy family and everyone is friends.

GSF4 can also lead carriers to make inappropriate requests of people they barely know -- asking a friend's roommate's ex if they can crash on their couch, asking a college acquaintance from eight years ago for a letter of recommendation at their workplace, and so on. If something is appropriate to ask of a friend, it's appropriate to ask of a friend of a friend.

Arguably, Friendster was designed by a GSF4 carrier.

Geek Social Fallacy #5: Friends Do Everything Together

GSF5, put simply, maintains that every friend in a circle should be included in every activity to the full extent possible. This is subtly different from GSF1; GSF1 requires that no one, friend or not, be excluded, while GSF5 requires that every friend be invited. This means that to a GSF5 carrier, not being invited to something is intrinsically a snub, and will be responded to as such.

This is perhaps the least destructive of the five, being at worst inconvenient. In a small circle, this is incestuous but basically harmless. In larger groups, it can make certain social events very difficult: parties which are way too large for their spaces and restaurant expeditions that include twenty people and no reservation are far from unusual.

When everyone in a group is a GSF5 carrier, this isn't really a problem. If, however, there are members who aren't carriers, they may want occasionally to have smaller outings, and these can be hard to arrange without causing hurt feelings and social drama. It's hard to explain to a GSF5 carrier that just because you only wanted to have dinner with five other people tonight, it doesn't mean that your friendship is in terrible danger.

For some reason, many GSF5 carriers are willing to make an exception for gender-segregated events. I don't know why.

Interactions

Each fallacy has its own set of unfortunate consequences, but frequently they become worse in interaction. GSF4 often develops into its more extreme form when paired with GSF5; if everyone does everything together, it's much harder to maintain two friends who don't get along. One will usually fall by the wayside.

Similarly, GSF1 and GSF5 can combine regrettably: when a failure to invite someone is equivalent to excluding them, you can't even get away with not inviting Captain Halitosis along on the road trip. GSF3 can combine disastrously with the other "friendship test" fallacies; carriers may insist that their friends join them in snubbing someone who fails the test, which occasionally leads to a chain reaction which causes the carrier to eventually reject all of their friends. This is not healthy; fortunately, severe versions of GSF3 are rare.

Consequences

Dealing with the effects of social fallacies is an essential part of managing one's social life among geeks, and this is much easier when one is aware of them and can identify which of your friends carry which fallacies. In the absence of this kind of awareness, three situations tend to arise when people come into contact with fallacies they don't hold themselves.

Most common is simple conflict and hurt feelings. It's hard for people to talk through these conflicts because they usually stem from fairly primal value clashes; a GSF3 carrier may not even be able to articulate why it was such a big deal that their non-carrier friend blew off their movie night.

Alternately, people often take on fallacies that are dominant in their social circle. If you join a group of GSF5 carriers, doing everything together is going to become a habit; if you spend enough time around GSF1 carriers, putting up with trolls is going to seem normal.

Less commonly, people form a sort of counter-fallacy which I call "Your Feelings, Your Problem". YFYP carriers deal with other people's fallacies by ignoring them entirely, in the process acquiring a reputation for being charmingly tactless. Carriers tend to receive a sort of exemption from the usual standards: "that's just Dana", and so on. YFYP has its own problems, but if you would rather be an asshole than angstful, it may be the way to go. It's also remarkably easy to pull off in a GSF1-rich environment.

What Can I Do?

As I've said, I think that the best way to deal with social fallacies is to be aware of them, in yourself and in others. In yourself, you can try to deal with them; in others, understanding their behavior usually makes it less aggravating.

Social fallacies don't make someone a bad person; on the contrary, they usually spring from the purest motives. But I believe they are worth deconstructing; in the long run, social fallacies cost a lot of stress and drama, to no real benefit. You can be tolerant without being indiscriminate, and you can be loyal to friends without being compulsive about it.

Hey, Are You Talking About Me?
If I know you, yeah, probably I am. It doesn't mean I don't love you; most of us carry a few fallacies. Myself, I struggle with GSF 1 and 2, and I used to have a bad case of 4 until a series of disastrous parties dispelled it.

I haven't used any examples that refer to specific situations, if it has you worried. Any resemblances to geeks living or dead are coincidental.

Pollo Desperado

I had heard about a recipe that somehow results in many boyfriends' proposals to their respective girlfriends. So after taking the idea into the pensive, I decided to give it a try, just to see how it tastes like.

The recipe calls for a 3-lb chicken, two lemons, salt and pepper. I, of course, modified it with more seasonings for the outside part of the chicken and some onion. I added significant baking time as the bird was a almost a 5-lb one. It tasted so good, I probably will marry myself, I told Bibi on the phone.

One day, he asked if I am ever going to make him the Engagement Chicken. "Are we going to be part of statistic?" I texted him back. "It could be fun," he replied. So yeah, I decided to cook him that--with some other side dishes yet to be determined--for his upcoming visit.

I made another tryout two days ago. This time with a smaller bird since I found a mere 3-lb stew hen on a local Asian grocery store. It tasted even better this second time around. Although, I regretted my foolish decision to cook a stew hen for baking. The meat is rubber-like. Also the feathers weren't plucked properly. Ah, well, you couldn't expect much from an Asian grocery store. You do get what you paid for.

So will this result in a proposal? We will see. Bibi did ask for my ring size last week.

Much Ado About Nothing

One day on a meeting with the many groups and commissions at church back in CS, a favorite priest commented on my name, "it's Latin for the one who is nominated," he said. I smiled, mildly disagree. I have nothing in me that spells out L-E-A-D-E-R-S-H-I-P. I am good working with myself and from time to time can bring into reality some degree of successful fashion things that interest me. Working with others while assuming a leadership role need a whole other level of vigority, spontaneity, planning, and genuine believe in human beings, all that are incompatible with the silent side, anti-social me.

Despite the self assurance that I posses no leadership skills whatsoever, the namesake might, once again, be put in line what with the current politics at a certain non-profit, non-political, religious organization I am involved with. In an abridge version, a simple power overthrowing is on its way towards producing tragic consequence to the state of the organization. I am thinking in term of the ridiculousness of the situation, it is similar to the statue of Saddam Husein fatally befallen the masses around it.

In order to avoid the kind of doomsday everyone afraid of, some of the officers voicing their support for yours truly to man one of the key positions, that is as an interim President or a Vice President. I want to add a sexist point of view here, since none of the men is man enough to assume such positions (they are the ones that created the drama in the first place), why not make it an all women roles (although this can be dangerous also, we do not want to foster "feline belligerence" down the line). Anyway, back to being nominated, my take on the matter is that in addition to the lack of leadership ability, I simply don't have the virtue for such a heavy responsibility, not to mention this anxiety --that is well on its way to become a disorder-- I am suffering over the comeuppance of a certain proposal (BF, beware! Although, I doubt you read far down to this line. LoL!).

Let me work with myself to support the group. Let the drama dry out and all will be well again.

Come!

Back Log: July 18

Another volunteering chance served us on the 18th of July at MedShare, a fine institution formed in 1998 delivering surplus medical supplies from the US of A to all over the world.



The many types of medical supplies handled at this Northern California location.




The ready-to-be-shipped supplies in the background. Terry Monday is the Medshare person in charge on managing all volunteers.


We diligently sorted needles into pools of gauge size, type, and expiration dates.




The whole group posed customarily at the end of the event.


It was a lovely experience. We hope to come back.

Hey You, Up There...

It would have been your 57th birthday, Papa. Mama went to your grave in the morning and texted me afterward. I didn't do anything but composing this post for you tonight, with not enough tears in my eyes. I didn't write anything last year, I am sure you would understand. It was still painful and it will still be like that until we meet again. I miss you.

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more, man, this is what love is

Butterfly Kisses, Bob Carlisle

Rant of the Week

I should've used a better judgment yesterday when my lazy body lulled my mind for a nap. I never take a so-called power nap--a few precious minutes and one will rise up energetically--it is always a long two-three hours one.

I woke up too early by my Sunday standard for a first showing of Harry Potter at 10:15 AM with the girls. After the nap, there was a momentous decision to go to the last Mass of the day or to replenish food supply. The end of Mass and the closing time of Trader Joe's are sadly congruent. Since I don't have the magical ability to disapparate right after communion, TJ's righteously won. And then the devil took my soul.

In a self I-told-you-so moment, I stayed awake till maybe 5:30 in the morning today. It successfully threw my plan to start the week with a bang at gym. I woke up 10 minutes past 11, just enough time to take a shower, wash and dry my hair (no flat ironing today), and lunch.

It's been closer to four months since I requested and underwent an alternative working hours. At first it worked perfectly fine, judging with the many progress I made over the first two months. The potency of the arrangement, however, is dimmer by the day, as machines are kept occupied until 7 at night. Leaving yours truly to many wasted productive hours spent on blogging, browsing the world wide web, and tending to fax machine(more on this later). Of course, those times are spent after gloriously finishing all the mundane clerical type of tasks. It seems that a graveyard shift will be more effective at this phase, research-wise.

As I finished sending out sample, I received an email from the International Students Service at school explaining the difficulty of faxing an important document to my company's fax machine. This document, I must note, has been gracefully and promptly finished on my request last week, a very good job, indeed. I gave the person another fax number as the hour ticks to 5 PM Texas time. She emailed me to let me know that this time the fax went through. She also asked to let her know if I successfully retrieved it. However, the fax line on our end didn't agree with the arrangement, prompting an error of end of job. I spent 20 minutes on the hotline to fix this problem to no avail. Apparently, the IT people had a problem with their phone line. Whoever it is that Murhpy guy. I salute you. I probably will find my luck to a copy a book written by Nick T. Spark, not to be confused with Nicholas Sparks.

Definitely not a good start of the week.

Some Updates

Too many backlogs. I don't think I can provide good accounts on them. I am not really keen with writing when I have no decent pictures to accompany the post. Hey, I really need to get a camera!

Here is a brief summary for you, that is if you can handle the annoyance of too many parenthesized words and exclamation.

Sunday, June 28th
I went to SF for Gay Pride Parade and hunting French macaron. I also went to some little boutiques along the way. I went with BART in order to be able to stroll downtown SF without having to find where to park and to avoid driving on those scary hills.

The three French macaron places in the Hayes Valley were practically next to each other, they are Paullete, La Boulange, and Miette. I decided I am not a fan of macarons aside from the pricey nature. I cannot tell the difference of the macarons among the three places. Here is probably a better review.

As for the parade, I was expecting something really vulgar coming my way. Instead, it was pretty decent, just a bunch of happy people. So, no useful review from my part again.

July 2nd-5th
The good people of WKICU asked me to come along on their 4th of July long weekend camping trip. We, the five adults and the 2 under 5-year-olds, stayed at a two-bedroom timeshare in Angels Camp on the first night before proceeding with some camping at New Melones Lake.

We spent our days visiting the the little towns and state parks around the areas. The weather in this central valley region was more than 10 degrees higher than the Bay Area weather we are accustomed to, not to mention that our camping ground could've used more shady trees. Nights were spent playing cards, eating corns, gossiping, etc.

We visited in no chronological order:

• San Andreas (Calaveras County Museum, was a jail and still a function courthouse, took some crazy pictures here too! Oh, and guest what, one episode of Little House on the Praire was shoot in here. That's quite a long ride from their Simi Valley location.)
• Columbia State Park (for some Gold Rush experience!)
• Railtown State Park in Jamestown (for satisfying the inner Thomas and we managed to slip in some wine tasting too!)
• Big Trees State Park (for some giant redwoods, I mean giant!)
• California Cavern (to cross one item from the list of things I've never been to, a cave is one of them!)

Overall, it was a long weekend time well spent (and cheap too!)

First Published Non-Semiconductor Related Work, LOL!

A little summary on Indonesian Catholic community around Bay Area I wrote for St. Justin's, Santa Clara. The church is where we celebrate second Sunday Masses in Bahasa Indonesia.

http://www.st-justin.org/weekly_bulletins/2009Archives/488800stjustin071909.pdf

Enjoy.
:D

Briarwood Apartments College Station Review

As posted on July 14th, 2009, on ApartmentRatings.com

The apartment unit that I and my two other roommates lived in at Briarwood was great. It was very clean and the carpet was spotless. The maintenance people were reliable so that we never have problems with AC, cable and internet, water leaks, etc. The neighbors were relatively quite, even on the weekend. Also, we always had ample parking space for our second car.

The problems--or should I say nightmares--we had were always with the management, upper and staff levels alike.

1. They went out of their way to change legal document
A few weeks after we moved in June 2008, we received a notice that we still owed them a few hundred dollars for moving in which need to be paid BTOB the next day. We found out that one of their office people managed to change a date on an original paper we all signed for moving in (not a contract, but still it is illegal) to show us that we had money due. That matters got resolved, though, but not until we threatened to bring it to school attorney.

2. They were not consistent on their policy towards money, i.e., be prepared to fight or pay.
Still, toward the end of the contract, my two roommates wanted to stay for convenience, as they are going to graduate soon. My roommates inquired about the money they had to pay in order to move to a 2-bedroom unit. There was a complication since we were staying at a 3-bedroom unit and we had paid that half month rent in advance when we signed the contract for the 3-bedroom. They kept changing their answer day-to-day. But no matter what the answer was, it would cost my roommates a fortune to stay. After a lot of “fightings” with the office people (manager kept leaving office hour right on the dot at 4 PM), my roommates decided to not renewing the contract. FYI, by this time, Briarwood was under yet another new management. But they still treat the tenants like bottom feeders. They claimed that my roommates were not granted renewal because my roommates were one step away from committing violence.

3. They, in short, are hustlers
My roommates had final statement after they moved out to the tune of yet another couple hundred dollars, for paintings, cleaning, and changing drip pans. Not so funny thing is one of my roommate had changed the drip pans (she lost the receipt though, but she still had the fifth of the drip plan set that was not used). My roommate went to dispute the charge about the drip plan with the office, they showed her a picture of a dirty cook stove/oven. My roommate was in disbelief and told them she personally cleaned that cook stove/ oven. Also, they refused to tell here when the picture was taken--it can be easily seen from the picture property as it was taken from a digital camera. Personally, we believe they are hustlers, since they only charged 200 something dollars for painting the whole apartment--it probably cost them more than that. They just wanted to have these easy 200 dollars from us and to get back to us from what happened at point # 2 above.

We are bringing these matters to the College Station’s Better Business Bureau and Texas A&M’s Off-Campus Housing office. We will let everyone know the progress of the “case.” In the mean time, caveat emptor for future renters, you should really think about moving in unless you have unlimited amount of money and willing to part from it. We are mostly students here. In my roommates and I case, we are international graduate students. So that might be why we got hustled in the first place.

Sincerely,
Former Tenant, June-August 2008, # 383

Channeling My Inner Serena Williams

We were playing tennis at an officer picnic for WKICU sometime in June. I teamed up with the president. We obviously won.

I am thinking I need to start playing tennis again. I am entertaining an idea of an all-girl tennis match at my apartment complex on one of the weekend days followed by bbq/picnic and hot-tubbing. Hmm...

A Little Vain

you were hottt
in the purple dress
:P
i demand a clearer pic
LOL!
iya hot as in kepanasan, tan banget,
iya darker ya?
but it created a gorgeous backdrop for that jewel tone of the dress
:D thank you thank you you made my day
*

*
You did look thinner, and your complexion is clearer, what did you do?
Ah, it's only because I told you I've lost some pounds
As for the face, I don't know, it's probably the make up, LOL.
*
*
Aw, you all are so pretty. Green, brown...[he was referring to my friend's dress and my skirt and top ensemble]
Us: Thank you.
*
*
Did you straightened your hair?
Yeah
Oh, you look so pretty...
[to her sister-in-law's girlfriend] Doesn't she?
Yes!
Thank you..
*
*
Did you change your hair style?
No...
Oh, you look good!
Thank you, I just straightened it.
Yeah..*nodding in approval*

Note-to-self

(Alternative) Examination of conscience for the act of contrition.

On one's relationship with:

• God


• Those nearest


• Everyone else


• God's other creatures


• Oneself

In which I must conclude by borrowing the words of the Coldplay folks, I know Saint Peter won't call my name.

Sigh.

Black Hole/Mothership

13:33 -- Hi! (the usual start of text message ritual, no reply from moi)

17:54 -- The Governor want to see you...(referring to his post on the workout blog, still no reply from moi)

20:58 -- Are you ok? (Sorry, Babe, I misplaced my cellphone at home and didn't see your text messages until midnight.)

I am thinking there is some sort of a black hole at the apartment. I was sure that the cellphone is still at the house because unlike these past two days I woke up precisely when the Wake Up Alarm on my cellphone went off. Before leaving for work, I searched all around to no avail. I even sent a text message through the computer but apparently it arrived thirty minutes after I sent it. Throughout the workday, I actively checked my account on the provider. First to see if the phone didn't land on somebody else's and got abused. Second, to see if I missed any important phonecalls and how many text messages got in. All is well. When I got home at midnight, I heard the phone beeping somewhere in the living room. It turned out it sucessfully fell to my newest mothership by the "sofa" possibly when I hit the silence button. Bibi must get a kick out of this mothership/black hole subject. LoL.

Back Log: June 18-24

Let's see, too many things to recount. Caveat for the readers, the following rambles are mainly for self-notes. I should have been more persistent on picture taking. It just escaped me.

Texas Trip
What follows is my account on what happened on this trip after the hilarity that was on the last post. But before we began, I wanted to state that I forgot how 100 degrees weather feels like. Tank tops, shorts, skirts, and summer dresses, SPF 50, minimal to no make-up are fashion staples I anticipated for this trip. I am glad NY has a lot of cute things to borrow to maximize my inner fashionista wannabe. As for the trip, I did what I came for: Bibi's prelim, a friend's wedding, and visiting the siblings.

Bibi practiced the slides for his presentation a couple of times that Thursday night and then once in the morning. "There's a lot of shit going on in this slide," we were hoping he can preface the last of his four topics.

The day of the prelim, Bibi refused to dress up in a suit/jacket, and instead don on his nice dress pants and shirt. He still looked smart nevertheless, LOL. We walked to school around noon. I played a good caterer and media tech while Bibi preparing his paperwork and whatnot.

When he was fighting at the frontline, I spent some time to exchange news and weather with my friends in the department. I excused myself two hours later to think that he must be finished by then. The waiting can be described as parallel to husbands waiting outside for wives delivering their first baby. Bibi finally came out of the room looking a bit worried and relieved at the same time. A minute later, his advisor when out to call him in. He passed!

I am so proud of him having to deal with such a tough and respectable research subject. Biology used to be my forte, I am glad I have somebody who possesses a better understanding on living objects--and most importantly, has good ideas on how to manipulate them.

We celebrated the prelim at O'Bannon's and a dinner at nearby Mexican place. Speaking of viva la comida, I also made panada and pastel from scratch for everybody's snacks on two different days. They got NY's seal of approval. I didn't realize that using rolling pin to make something is a good abs exercise.

The following Saturday, we had a wedding to attend. We arrived at the ceremony thirty minute late due to a planning mishap, i.e., no map. Who doesn't know the way to Waco? Only Bibi and yours truly apparently. Good thing my friend wasn't pronounced a Mrs yet. I am sure Bibi realize the ulterior motive of dragging him to the wedding, that is an exposure to Catholic wedding mass. The reception following the ceremony was in the mixed style of Mexican fiesta (the Mariachi and the food, groom was of Mexican decent) and the usual wedding party activity (the open floor with DJ, the bouquet throwing). Everybody had fun.



On Sunday, Bibi, the siblings and I went to Texas Road House to satisfy everyone's crave for a good steak and for a little bonding time. Then I went to St. Mary's 7 PM mass. Later that night, Bibi and I went to Northgate for his Sunday night poker league.

All in all, it was a good and compact visiting week. I did manage, though, to throw a breakdown tantrum on Bibi two days before leaving CS. That morning, Bibi and I went to the Rec Center together. I went to St. Mary's afterward with mi amiga G to get some ideas of things I need to prepare for a Catholic nuptial. It was an overwhelming experience to realize that my timeline (for a December wedding *gasps* Bibi needs to propose first, no?) is ambitious and has already passed its expiration. I am putting my--I mean, our--plan all on God's hand. Maybe sometime next year is best for everyone. I can spend some time with Mom, we all can have a better planning, and not to mention, it will be more feasible on the financial side. I am hoping NY get a job here, I can't do this without my dearest sister.

I flew back to SCLA on Wednesday ready for the last three days of working that week. The next week was another shutdown week.

--to be continued

Texas Here I Come (Again)

Travel Notes, Day 1

I can never get a good night sleep before a trip to see Bibi (LOL, Bibi!). I watched TV and filled in New York magazine crosswords last night after a final packing and general grooming. Past midnight, I watched TLC including the new season of The Gosselins saga and one from the old seasons. TLC successfully markets their contrast. Total sleeping hours: about three. Total TV hours: hmm, about five hours.

I packed two bags: a backpack and a laptop/mothership bag. Good weight exercise as I had to walk about a mile to catch VTA and another mile traveling airport in-site. Food to clothes ratio roughly equals 1:3. I scavenged Trader Joe's for a little something for people back home.

I didn't remember any of the US airports I'd been before to offer a free wifi and was glad to find that DEN offers one. Airport past time triumphantly spent on Facebook, Bloglines, Flickrs and blogs. Plane rides, on the other hand, spent on manual sudoku, crosswords and the good old sleep! As we were flying west, I had to put down the window as I realize the higher altitude makes the UV damage more vicious. What do you call a plane equivalent of a driver's tan. LOL!

Interesting views as we landed in DEN. I doubt that it was The Broncos home stadium that I saw (no branding whatsoever). Also patches of green acres (not of trees) around the city that seems to serve no purpose. Better research more on this.

NY and I are going to find our way to County Line BBQ. I seem to can never eat enough meat in CA. So meat is the first thing I am looking for when I am in TX. It was Saltlick with Bibi and brother last trip.

I am boarding Austin flight in fifty minutes.

Updates from AUS:
Landed safely at 4:52 PM local time. Unfortunately my chaffeur/sister was kinda lost.

After much consulting with Bibi and Information guys and of course, NY, we all finally figured out where she was and the new route she could use to arrive at AUS to pick me up. Here's a diagram of the situation.



Poor girl. We need drinks, correction, she needs it more than me.

Anyway, there is a free wifi here at AUS. Although, it wasn't supposed to be free, I suppose. I am posting with it. KYH might be arriving in half hour or so.

Back Log: May 30th

As part of Memorial Day long weekend, I enjoyed the company of this adorable couple for a light hiking trip around the South Bay area.



A detour for a to-go of tummy filling Vietnamese rice platters and yummy durian creme puff treats to South San Jose's Vietnamtown (thank God for GPS) could almost christened this trip a Culinary Adventure instead.

We were supposed to see chain of seven waterfalls on Uvas Canyon Park in Morgan Hill. But we were keeping our hopes low since foliages and waterholes at ground elevation were dry. Up a 1000 ft later (we drove ourselves up), a lush of evergreen suddenly greeted us.



If you are thinking of a great wonder of a waterfall that is Niagara, this Upper Falls is of course a no match. As you can see, the fall's height only reaches 25 ft and the width was about 15 ft. Still, the serenity of the walking and the giggles of babies playing in the water flush away the hectic world not much far from this heaven.




These last two pictures only satisfied the narcissus in me. Also in succesfully keeping the envy of a DSLR alive.




Photo credit

Back Log: May 31st

The grad school advisor:
"So, can you speak Chinese now? You have missed on the opportunity while you were in grad school. Don't miss out on it now that you have many Chinese colleagues at work."

Me:
"Uhm..."[damn it, what should I say, why do I need to learn Chinese anyway, you foo'...]

GSA:
"Or maybe you should find a Chinese husband. So you can learn and speak Chinese all the time!"

Me:
*fainted* [BF would definitely not appreciate that patronizing comment, but you know, BF, he's The K**].

A blurry picture from around the moment the above conversation happened. The GSA was visiting for a conference. We (former students) went out to eat with him at a Korean Chinese restaurant at Japan Town. How sick was that such place exist? LOL. Food were good, though. This picture, however, was by a coffee shop still in Japan Town where we were for an after-dinner coffee session, his treat!



PS:
I have always thought that this will be a nice starter bling, or better yet this. I am tired of being cameraless. The 1S has met its unfortunate fate sometime last year. Alas, all semblance of personal economic welfare these days needs to be channeled for more important causes.

Sigh

When I was young(er), there was an intention to pursue a career in medicine. And then I got that full-ride scholarship to study anything I want here in the States. The unpaved path to become a medical doctor got slashed out for being not too practical (time-wise and financial-wise). I regret the decision sometimes that I could have done something for my father and his sickness. Maybe he would listen to me, maybe he would have been alive. And to think that I ended up spending a lot of time in school for my field of choice to get to where I am now. The road not taken has made all the difference.

What is left of that interest is the occasional hypochondriac, self-diagnosed persona. Like today, I feel some pain on my left leg around the side close to the knee joint. I immediately consulted several webpages for Deep Vein Thrombosis. I checked on my health insurance coverage just in case I need some hospitalization. I am going to monitor until tomorrow if my pain subsides. I am thinking it might be the result of over working out from last week.

Good night.

Back to work

I just want to take a deep breath into an imaginary online paper bag. I have been reciting this too many times, "My timeline is not God's timeline". Although, I have bought a magazine last weekend--something I have been avoiding so as to minimizing the creation of yet another monster.

I also have been looking at possible dates for EE--a weekend in Houston, right on August shutdown, cheaper than CA ones.

What a girl to do. And to think all of these are hard on him too? Sigh.

PS:
BF, if you ever get around to read this blog, I still need my bling stat. Something like this will be really appreciated by me, who loves you so much. LOL!



A vintage (looking) sapphire ring in white gold.

I...You,

Baby

Fine Saturday

Life sans laptop is just unbearable, specially when there is need to catch up on gossip time with a certain someone, winks. As a temporal solution, I needed to fire up that old desktop unit. Little did I realize that it lived on the dark age technology that are eight years behind and had no recent anti-virus updates.

On Saturday morning, I opened the tower only to find a total of 256 Mb at 266Mhz RAM, at least they are already the 168 pin type. No wonder it was slow. Lo and behold, there were two RAM sticks magically lying around. The use of these two sticks would effectively double the memory storage and almost double the speed. First attempt on installation failed. Soft pounding here and there solved the problem.

Next was the anti-virus installation. Luckily, my fantastic cable/internet provider provides anti-virus software at no extra charge. I adventurously chose customized setting. It would've been easy if I optioned in on all but the parental lock option. In the end, I had to download the .exe for a total of three time to have both firewall and the anti-virus properly set up.

The blazing weather outside reached the mid 90s as I spent the productive afternoon hours working on fixing up the old computer. Going swimming seemed to be a good idea. Plus, I have always wanted to devirginize that apartment swimming pool, so to speak. I mixed a little concoction for a little after swimming treat--notice the word after, I am a safety oriented person. It consisted of mainly grapefruit juice, some rum, and sugar. BF would have been proud. I swam a total of 16 x 25 m laps (free-style and breaststroke). Those were some challenging manuevers I performed to survive, among others, babies learning to swim and 15 year olds having fun in the pool. I dipped myself on the bubbly hot tub for a while after and parked myself on a poolchair with my drink. A good book would have made the day even better.

Recent Update

Being laptop deprived since Friday has resulted in nights and weekend sans internet. The situation can easily be relieved if yours truly got her ass sitting in front of the desktop unit. She has been just too lazy to do that. Instead she's been focusing her mind on watching endless TV. She would be really happy to catch reruns of any of Star Trek series, but sadly, none of them were on during her waking hour. Instead, she settles on reruns of 3rd Rock from the Sun. Apart from being one heck of a funny series, the celestial body animation in between its scenes kinda reminded her of said series.

In other news, Aunt Flo decided to drop by last night. At four in the morning yours truly woke up with such a pain. Chocolate (and aspirin) has been proven to be a perfect remedy for time like this. She heated up the non-stick pan and made a grilled meisjes sandwich. Apart from the hint of chily oil taste, it worked wonder. Note to herself: get a sandwich toastmaker or dedicate a pan to make dessert like items.

In yet another news, "The One Who Got Away" is getting married. She feels nothing but pure happiness for him and the bride. Congratulations.

Meow

Me and two other girlfriends were going to lunch at an ordinary workday. I came first to the restaurant, there was a pregnant woman with a year old toddler on the sitting next table. The little girl was cute and has a mixed race appearance.

The first of the two friends came, saw me and walked towards my table. Before we had time to catch up, the woman on next table talked to my friend. They knew each other-- although, my friend had a hard time remembering her, my friend later told me. My second friend came in as the woman and the child were about to leave.

My two friends went on a discussion about the woman as soon as the entourage left.

"She used to be so pretty and stylish, remember? She wore all the branded stuff from head to toe."

"I know. I wasn't even paying attention to her at first. She looks so...mumsy. So
that's how people are after they're having a child, huh."

"She should be taking better care of herself."

At this point, I was jumping in to defend the woman. I see nothing wrong with her appearance. She was wearing stylish white capri pants and a gray top. She wore no make up, and her hair is better than mine. She probably gained some weight and her body changed. But aren't those expected for a mother of two? As for the child, she looked clean, healthy, and happy.

"Hey, it's a hard work to be a mother with a toddler and one on the way. I think she's doing just fine."

My friend insisted, "No, she could've done better. She should make time for herself."

Later I found out there were personal problems between my friend's relatives and the woman. So it might explain the harsh judgment on the woman. In retrospect, I might have done the same thing. But as an outsider looking in, trust me, the woman is doing OK, my standard anyway.

What A Life

There are clothes to press, an apartment to clean, food to cook,people to socialize with, instead I am currently sipping wines (cabernet and dessert), eating a mini chocolate bundt cake, browsing the 'net from A-to-Z, with TV on in the background, while lying down. What a life!

April Shutdown

Donna, the Atlanta BFF, came to visit for a Leonard Cohen concert last week. We had a lot of fun driving around to places (SF, Sausalito, Monterey, Oakland). I had been driving to all three bridges on the open bay (Richmond, Golden Gate, Bay). Unlike March shutdown time (Inok's visit), pictures from disposable cameras commemorated the days.

"Serious" Conversation

While he was driving me to Austin to catch a flight back to the Valley last night...

X: I am so past a waiting for a wedding. Other than the ceremony, the reception is sort of like, "Here people, eat our wedding cake with us now that we legally and morally can have sex with each other." You know, an announcement where you feed people.

BF: *rolling his eyes, shocked*

X: So, the objective has been moved forward. When are we going to buy a house?

BF: Ah, if the wedding is for everyone, a house is just for us.

X: Exactly.

BF: You and I really think alike. I want to have a house too.

X: Yup. So I have been calculating. You and I have to save at least [insert lot of money] if we to afford a CA house. Bonuses, stock options.

BF: Yes, a good job and we have to live in austerity then. Maybe we get a fixer upper and fix it ourselves, wouldn't it be fun?

X: Ooh, I love fixing stuff ourselves. I love buying tools. I watched enough of This Old House. LOL.

So Close to Home

There are three events today that made the day bound to be remembered than most days these days. Two of them hit, literally, so close to home.

1. Earthquake, a 4.3 Richter scale, with epicenter within 20 mile radius of my place of work and residence, at 10:40 AM. From what I've gathered from news, no major impact on the daily life of the South-Bayers. People at work including myself didn't experience any jolt whatsoever. The quake possibly was pale in comparison to the busy, noisy lab activities. Mainly, I suspected the building owner has practiced good architecture on designing an earthquake resistant structure.
2. An apparent murder-suicide that left six people dead (four were children) and one critically injured. It was within one mile from my apartment complex and happened on Sunday night around 8:30. Guns were found in the crime scene. Victim identities slowly revealed. Motive was still in the air. Place of incident, though, is widely publicized. I went on my own tour of the area tonight, although at the end I decided I couldn't take the view of it and drove the other way around. God rest your souls...
3. I asked boss for a swing shift instead of a normal day shift, he granted my request. My sole reason is that it will be more effective for me to work at this allocated window as machines are less occupied then. The lab is my oyster, or as BF texted me a reply:

   Your plan to dominate the world inches forward...

   Uhm, more like mils forward, BF.
   

Sick Again?

Tada...would you believe that yours truly is sick again. This time, whateveritis is riding on a fast track. By the second day, I have a runny nose, by the third day (today) I was in multiple coughing fits. I popped the only over-the-counter medication I had on my medicine cabinet just before the weekly meeting with the group. I anticipated its "comparable to a Nyquil" effect by preparing myself a cup of hot Orange Pekoe tea--a black tea variant I just discovered recently. The tea somehow worked to counter act the drowsiness lest I would have passed out not twenty minutes into the meeting. Instead, I was just experiencing a marked sleepiness lullabied by people "discussing" important-but-less-interesting business and technical matters at hand. LoLs. The effect worn out after two hours, though.

On to the next sickness. ETS, extrapolated time of sickness, is 40 days from today.

DSLR does make a difference

My profile pictures taken at the recent visit of a certain Ms. Inok of LA. She has a kickass "entry-level" professional DSLR camera. From now on, I'll just make it a requirement for every visitor to bring his/her DSLR camera along in order to be eligible to stay at my place. LOL.

On and about UC Berkeley...








At about 1000 ft elevation at Mt. Diablo State Park...


At about 2000 ft elevation at Mt. Diablo State Park...







At the summit of Mt. Diablo...




On a Bay Cruise off Pier 39...




On an about The Golden Gate Bridge...



On and about Santa Cruz's Natural Bridge State Park

BB (not Blackberry)

10:19 AM, CST (8:18 AM, PST)

Good morning Apple Fritter!*

11:30 AM, CST (9:30 AM, PST)

Sh..somebody is on a shutdown week and might sleep till noon. LOL. How is experiment going?

3:28 PM, CST (1:28 PM, PST)

I didnt know that Jim Rome is such a hottie. His wife must be a goddess of some sort. They have two sons! LOL.**

3:40 PM, CST (1:40 PM, PST)

Some people are like working.......

3:41 PM, CST (1:41 PM, PST)

LOL!

*His choice of dessert to call moi today
**Inside joke, hard to explain in here

Music on My Mind

Human brain is amazing. Should I shout this out loud? When the body has been deprived of something, it will signal the brain to relieve the situation, hence, we experience crave. Some common examples, for instance, are that when you are thirsty, you want to drink something, when you are tired, you want to rest, and so the list goes. It didn't hit me until late that craving goes behind the physical need but also happens on a mental state.

I have been listening to AM radios while driving, most notably the ESPN radio, the NPR, and the recently discovered Catholic radio station, AM 1260. While at home I watch TV programs, on the internet I browse over typed materials, on the elliptical I catch up on books. That is to say, my exposure to the pleasure of listening to the mellifluous harmony that is music has been unintentionally kept to a minimum.

I have come to notice that these past two or three days my brain has become its own music player. Songs were shuffled in my mind on random moments. The songs were from different genres, ranging from Taizé to The Smashing Pumpkins, and were never repeated. I can hear them played in my mind almost as complex as the original recording. All was beyond the control of my conscious mind.

To tie it back to my original premise, I conclude that I had been severely deprived from music solely on its own, my brain in turn is trying to relieve it by serving music à la carte.

I just find it all enlightening. It is perhaps also interesting to experience similar enlightenment on the other end of the exposure, that is, when the body is overwhelmed with a certain sensual pleasure.

Write That

I've been recruited to be in charge of a tri-monthly newsletter for a certain organization. I gave them an on-the-spot enthusiastic positive respond. Reasons behind such respond were that 1) I enjoy being involved in the organization, 2) I believe in the cause, and 3) the most important of them all that I just think it is about time for a bit of serious writing than the usual chronicle (of the banality) of my life type, don't you agree?

Another writing aspiration is something on my field of work, preferably on the professional but casual, for-the-masses, non peer-reviewed one. I really need to find a way to channel that. Maybe by starting on building enough credential, learning more about the industry, getting educated deeper on wider subjects? Oh, the possibility.

On another note, being a true hypochondriac, I am going down with an early form of dementia. Case in point: I forgot the names of several co-workers today. I tried real hard and was only able to recall them after a long while. Another case in point was the increasing severity of that self-diagnosed attention deficit disorder. So help me God.

State of Me

I am dead sleepy but I just couldn't turn off my brain...
I am still full from the vegetarian take out (it's almost two weeks since I've been abstaining from meat and poultry but I don't think I can be a vegetarian forever), but I am craving for something sweet or chocolate...
I can't wait for tomorrow so I can go to thrift stores around the area to satisfy an going desire to decorate around the apartment...
I miss Boyfriend so much, I cried...

I love that we can talk about nothing and everything
I love that you do listen to the trivial things I said, when I thought you don't
I love how we understand each other in a non-verbal way
I love that we can always find our way home when we are lost
I love that I feel safe when I am with you
I love that you brag about me to your friends and family
I love your giving me thoughtful gifts when I don't expect it
I love that you are there for my highs and lows
I love the silent moments when I can just reach you and hold your hand as long as I want
Most importantly, I have seen the best and worst of you, and I still love you for who you are

Would You?

One of the text message banters through out the days...

What's up boyfriend. I cant believe the deals at Z*les online. Crazy girl is screen shopping next to me...

What, my hand started to twitch...

And just two nights ago I had a dream I am wearing our wedding band. I woke up looking at my left ring finger. There was nothing there. LOL. I want to scream on top of my lung, "Would you just propose already????"

Job

I woke up fresh this morning--despite getting awaken multiple times during the night--with today's work plan on my mind. On my plan, I would finish quite a lot of the essential parts of a certain device fabrication by the end of work day. If I were The Brain, this was going to be the magnum opus for a worldly domination.

I hastily got ready, picked out some ensemble in red from the closet, which includes a red faux-leather belt worn high waisted on top of a black cardigan, but I digress. I was graceful that the car battery of unknown remaining lifetime still works in the chilly northern California morning. That and the light traffic were instrumental in bringing me to arrive at work a minute to the hour of nine. "Aha, the machines are going to be all mine," a little smirk lighted up my face.

Alas, just like my rodentia alter ego, things started going down on the very first step of the plethora of procedures I have to follow. I successfully accomplished nothing but irk by lunch time. What annoyed me most was how egoistic people are on the race to finish up tasks at hand. Little did I realize that those people include yours truly. And yet I couldn't help to nurture a sexist sentimental feeling of a little girl faces the still macho world of this industry all by herself.

My frustration grew exponentially as obstacles recurred on every single step. There I was the Job of Silicon Valley. Unlike the biblical figure, I continued to grumble (and beyond). But somehow the light at the end of the tunnel got brighter as the night progressed. I calmed down and I was back full course on my mission. After spending twelve hours and thirty minutes mostly standing on my feet, I drove back home finally attaining my goal for the day. I am hoping tomorrow is a more pleasant work day and that the device works as is, but mostly I am hoping I could be more calm and collected in cruising through tough situations at work or otherwise.

How was your work/study day?

BBC Booklist Meme

Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an ‘X’ after those you have read.
2) Add a ‘+’ to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.

1 The Lord of The Rings - JRR Tolkien
2 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen - X+
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling - X+
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee - X+
6 The Bible - X+
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell - X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens - X
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller - X
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien -
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - X++
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald - X+
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy *
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky *
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll - X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens - X
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden - X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery - I watched the series, does it count? LOL
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck *
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov *
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold - X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas X++
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville *
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett - X+
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce *
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray *
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker - X
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro *
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - X+
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams -
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas *
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo - X

Total read:19
Total plan to read: 9

On Being Sick

I am currently having under the weather days. It was just in December that I got into a three week spread of coughing that lasted well into the second week of January. Expectorant seemed to be futile and worst of all I stayed wide awake during those miserable nights. I didn't see the doctor, but maybe the verdict would be that the biotic kingdom taking over my body's defensive system.

This time, it might be virus. "Babe, I feel like crap, I have a fever of 101.5, I am aching all over, and the sangria only makes it worse," I texted the BF. He went, "Oh, it's the flu, Babe," and he proceeded to comment on a bunch of Crasians throwing a fellow into the pool on some birthday bash outside his apartment. Bener-bener nggak nyambung...Anyway, the alternating cold and warm sensation of the fever can only be compared to a contraction, five minutes apart and lasted one minute.

I am treating this sickness with a different set of mind. It's a chance to break rules on healthy eating, Baby! I went to get Cheetos, chocolates, and sodas. Needless to say, lost appetite got me. The only healthy meals I had consisted of soups and make shift lemonade from lemons a coworker just gave me this morning. There is also the inevitable excuse to not exercising.

My prognosis is that I will be back to my usual self in two days, just enough for the weekend, and not to forget the shutdown at work next week.

High Sea

Blog, once again, you have been left in the dark. It's 2009 for Pete's sake.

I am blaming it all on my poor planning of my weekdays schedule:

Work pertaining 8 AM-8 PM
Dinner and rest 8-9:30 PM
Work out 9:30-10:30 PM
TV and other stuff 11-1 AM

I suppose I could squeeze in writings on those "unproductive" couch potatoing between 11 and 1 AM. And not to forget the time on the weekends.

I shall begin soon, then. To the high sea!

PF

I came home today from work and some grocery shopping. I called the BF as I put stuff away. It's his birthday today and our two best friends were throwing him a birthday dinner. In the middle of the call Mom was calling me on the other line. I promised to call the BF again later. Mom and I talked as I heat up my dinner.

We couldn't help but discussing the family's financial situation these days. Things are pretty tight since Dad passed away. And now that I am working, there is not much changing in term of my contribution to our family. See, in numbers, my income is considerably high, but after factoring in CA living cost, car payment, and that single person income tax bracket, there is really not much left to save. A little over broke, that's what they called it.

Right now, my financial objective is to acquire enough saving that will cover three months of living expense. And what I experience now is that even that small objective is already hard to attain. It definitely requires some kind of magic to be able to afford owning a place of my own in here while in the same time building some investment portfolio for the future, and don't forget a wedding, hopefully, sometime in the near future.

I continue the habit of budgeting and projecting how much I can save over a period of time with the help of a simple spreadsheet. I consulted the spreadsheet religiously. Something funny happened tonight as I was playing a little forensic
accountant to locate some essential amount of money allegedly missing from my bank accounts. Simply, I tried to balance the expenses and the income. I was in a panic attack thinking that I overspent in hindsight or that maybe somebody broke into my
accounts again. I discovered that it was a typo in one of the numbers that caused such a commotion. By the time I discovered it, my dinner was already cold again.

Money it's not everything one would say. I don't totally buy that. Who am I gonna turn into to support the family and myself once I lose my income? We are not talking lavish lifestyle, just enough to get by. I am not in need of having a fancy car and clothing or other luxury items. I just need some security that I have something liquid in possession to cover a reasonable life span.

Great, it's the weekend, I can afford some insomniac moments thinking about the economy and my personal finance. I am just hoping I am walking towards the light. I am also glad that the BF has a similar financial attitude as myself. In this case,
I'd say a team of two is better than flying solo.

Happy Birthday again, Babe. I was thinking to dedicate a piece here for you today before this money thing took over. After all, you are one of the most important people in my life these day. I hope the card and the CD arrived Monday, a little late, three days after your actual birthday.

And whenever I am missing you so much, I just have to relive the momentous occasions such as our first activity together two days after your birthday last year.

"It wasn't a date", I insisted months after.
"Hey, come on, what guy would wanna go watching a play with a girl she is not even a friend first? Totally, a date," you said.

A date or not, it is one of my favorite things to daydream about us. You do make me happy.

Homily and OLOP

Another thing I miss about College Station, the other being working out at the Rec Center, is attending mass St. Mary's. I haven't felt at home in the many Catholic churches I have been to here and around town. One in particular is the popular OLOP. The feeling that I am merely a visitor as opposed to a parishioner has nothing to do with the two incidents there in which a man unsolicited giving me a pamphlet on dressing Marianly, one in the middle of Mass, one at the parking lot after. It is more about the homily.

To me the homily is one the most anticipated parts of Mass. All these times I haven't been able to get the gist of the homilies on the Masses offered at OLOP with different priest at different times. I'd say this is largely due to the state of the sound system which acoustic is probably affected, to my guess, by the structure of the church building itself. Second, it might be due to do with the way the sermon is presented. Back in St. Mary's, sermons were presented in a way that they were easy to comprehend that they almost certain touched bases every time. Although, at the OLOP cases, I couldn't really certain if each and every sermons were 'too heavy' as I couldn't hear it clearly every time.

This next time, I will try to sit closer to the altar and gather up an extra focus more during the sermon. All those yoga practices should be useful then.

Shutdown Rambles

So, inline with the last post, the company exercised the first of the shutdowns in Q1 2009 effective this Monday. This means yours truly have nine days of Thanksgiving break, except that she couldn't afford to change her plane ticket to go back to dear ol' CS from the original day of Thanksgiving to this weekeend. What a girl to do to cover the five days in between? Well, having fun in her own way, off course.

1. Sleeping in. She forgot how much she loves sleep. She got pretty good at brushing up her old skill as she woke up a minute past noon today.

2. Shopping. She has a couple of shopping list to do since discovering Trader Joe's and Ranch 99 (oh and don't forget the many Goodwill around towns). She's also in search for a good book for the BF's nephew that she adores so much. The boy is cute and well too smart for his seven years of age.

3. Watching free movies on demand. She discovered this Comcast feature a while ago and has been using it effectively almost every weekend. Last night only, she managed to watch two of the agent Double O Seven's in HD, one with Mr. Connery and one with Mr. Moore. Delicious.

4. Exercising. Two times a day, in the morning for the usual aerobics and weight exercises, and at 6:30 PM with the free class at the apartment's work out center.

5. Cleaning up and organizing. The apartment and her work notebook. Where is that damn data cable, anyway. She needs to transfer the pictures from the cellphones in a more affordable way.

What she's not doing:

1. Cooking "elaborate" meals. She just need to use up the stuff in the fridge anyway.

2. Going to a birthday party at some club. First, she didn't feel like dressing up, and there is a dress code in which she doesn't have a thing handy to dress with. Second, she's not sure if the birthday girl is the girl she knows, name confusion that is. She could've picked up the phone and called someone but, third, hmm, she had her share of fun Friday with the free ticket to an MMA event. It was on the corporate suite with free beers, pizza, wings, some cookies. More on this and the "after party" after.

What she's dreaming of:
1. She could afford a camera. A DSLR one, not another Point and Shoot. Maybe next year when the financial situation is a little bit better?

2. This is craziness talking. But yeah, she wanted to be in a nuptial relationship with the BF sometime in the future--and by the future, she means by the end of next year. Again, can she/they afford it? And by afford, she means mentally, logistically and financially.

See, she's still the economical (read: penny-pinching) homebody (read: anti-social) girl she's always been. And so the end of the ramblings.

Bowing Head

Job security is everyone's mind, including yours truly. We can smell it, it's right in front of us. What with the continuously plunging single digit stock, the shut-downs, and the downsizing, all in line with the plan to save those many million dollars in the company's operating cost. So help us, God.

Weekend

It's been a while since I've been involved in any type of volunteering work. The last time was visiting a retirement community back in good ol' CS. This Saturday, I went with a group of church friends to Oakland to work at a kitchen for the needy. We served gumbo with wild rice with a side of salad and bread, and donut or cake for dessert. If nothing else, the experience made me realize that we sometime forgot how grateful we are to be blessed with the ability to provide for ourselves. I like this kind of volunteering and have been considering doing it more frequently, at least once a month.

Serving the gumbo made me crave for a homemade one for dinner. I then called the BF for ingredients list and recipe. He used to work for a seafood place in his hometown during his high school years and might know a thing or to about making a perfect gumbo. In the middle of my cooking preparation, the BF texted me that he too was craving for some. We ended up cooking gumbo at the same time but 1000 miles away. Through out the cooking, we updated each other's tribulation: the roux took too long, mine is not dark enough, etc. I finished first and was planning to wait until he's done with his so we can eat the gumbo at the same time but my hunger took over. When he's done with the cooking he called me and we talked for more than an hour. It was just the cutest date this LDR had so far.

This afternoon, I went to a Mass said in my native language in a Mission church 20 something miles away from my place. The Mass was a celebration of the founding of the bay area Indonesian Catholic community as well as for an early Thanksgiving celebration. There was some kind of a worship dance performed in the middle of Mass. I'm not too sure what my feeling was about the appropriateness of this kind of activity. But at least the dance, the costume and the music were moderate enough to tone the effect down. Another worship activity was presented some time after. This time was in the form of a ballet performance. Needless to say, that for sure should be put into another time and place.

All in all, this weekend has been effective. I am looking forward for Monday. I am wondering how many people can say that they are looking forward for Mondays.

New Beginning?

I thought I should start writing again. I think it is important to continue to chronicle my life now that I have moved to a new place, living on my own, started a new job, and trying to work out a long distance relationship (not just between the two of us but among the extended families). In short, this is still about the juggling of life but with new sets of problems. The ones associated with becoming a responsible adult. Who would have thought I will be experiencing all of these.

I got everything I have dreamed of in life: health, a degree(s), a job, a meaningful relationship. For those I am thankful. I thought those are all I had ever wanted and then I will finally be happy.

Truth is I find it hard to fall a sleep most nights. It has to do with aspirations such as that I want to do more with my life, I want to learn to be grateful, I want to move on to the next step on the relationship, I want to build a solid financial standing, I want to be happy, if not happier.

So I am throwing this to you guys out there. Is it too much to be wanting more? Or are we just... human?